Tips for Using the Drop Off Lane at School

I posted this two years ago, but since school has started for some of us, and will be starting soon for the rest of you I thought it was necessary to re post this. Already I have dealt with all of this again this year.

1. Do not pull into the lane, get out and leave your vehicle unattended while you escort your child into the building. This is not dropping off, this is taking your child into the school. Park in a designated parking space if you want to take your child into the building.
2. Pull forward as far as you can into the lane when you come to pick up your child. The people stuck waiting in their cars out in the street can see that if you'd just pull up we could fit 3 more cars in the lane.
3. Pick up time is not the time for a parent-teacher conference.
4. Don't get huffy at me because I'm waiting for my children to buckle up before I pull away from the curb. It is the law. And I happen to love my children enough to keep them safe.
5. Smile and acknowledge your child or children when dropping off and picking up. Your phone call can wait a few minutes.
6. The bus lane is NOT a drop-off or pick-up lane. The rest of us are waiting in line like we're supposed to. Despite what you think you are not special...even if you think your yellow car qualifies as a bus.

More Stuff They Don't Tell You About Motherhood

If you don't have kids yet and don't want the bubble burst, please read no further. These are some things that no one told me about motherhood.

1. You'll buy 26817 pairs of gloves and 673 hats and still won't be able to find what the kids need when the temps dip.
2. You'll want desperately to make the same type of scrapbook/ baby book for each of your kids as you did for your first born but never really have the time to do it. Take comfort in the fact you can do it when they're older. Compromise.
3. When your kids experience disappointment, you will feel it cut at your heart.
4. You will have to cut fingernails and toenails seemingly every other day.
5. It is breathtakingly wonderful to fill your child up with good feelings and good attitudes. When they smile reluctantly, trying to hide their pleasure? I think I love that the best. (The smile always wins and betrays the real feeling.)
6. Your kids will emit spectacular farts and you will be amazed that a little body can produce such force.
7. Your carpeting will be stained with vomit, juice, etc. and you'll remember the incidents that caused the stains.
8. It won't be a big deal.
9. You will probably have to clean poop off of carpeting more than once.
10. One day someone will point out the sacrifices you've made for your kids and you'll realize you didn't think they were sacrifices at all.

Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

***Updated with all the answers!***

I'm a sucker for an older, cheesy movie...especially if it has some great quotes. I also enjoy the blog posts that let me play a sort of trivia game. So I thought I'd combine the two.

Name that movie. No fair using the Internet to look them all up.

I'll update this post with the first person who IDs each movie correctly and link to their blog if they have one!

Have fun!

1. Well, which is it young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Cuz if’n I freeze, I can’t rightly drop, and if’n I drop, I’m-a gonna be in motion.

Raising Arizona correctly identified by Chelsea.

2. Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you.

Dirty Dancing correctly identified by ShannonRenee.

3. I wanted to ask you if you're free after school today.
Yeah. I'm free every day. It's in the Constitution.

Grease 2

4. My, my, it's hot. But thank God it's not sticky. I just hate it when it's sticky. Listen to silly me. A sticky desert. That's as foolish as a... an intelligent woman. How ridiculous. What nonsense. God, I miss Tara.

My Chauffeur

5. There's no point to any of this. It's all just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know... a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle... and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.

Reality Bites correctly identified by domestic accident.

6. Did you sleep with him?
No, Dan. We were bowling partners.

About Last Night...correctly identified by Kristi (via email).

7. Drinking and driving don’t mix. That’s why I ride a bike.

Pretty in Pink correctly identified by ewe are here.

8. With a flaccid penis, it's the number of folds that count. Besides, I'm not semi-erect like some of you guys here.

Lucas

9. I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

Say Anything correctly identified by leigh.

10. I'm sure I don't do anything you would find exciting. I don't open beer bottles with my toes, I don't sit around and count what's left of my teeth, hey, I don't even enjoy a good tractor pull.

The Cutting Edge

11. First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguine and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

Fast Times At Ridgemont High correctly identified by ShannonRenee.

12. Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.

The Breakfast Club correctly identified by ShannonRenee.

13. What, you don't like rice? Tell me Michael, how could a billion Chinese people be wrong?

The Lost Boys

14. I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I've had other men love me before, but not for six months in a row.

Sixteen Candles correctly identified by Chelsea.

15. You think you could break a log like that?
Don't know. Never been attacked by a tree.

The Karate Kid 2

16. Well, you’re all I think about.
Me?
And I think the reason I'm not interested in other women, and why I haven't had sex in so long, is because I'm desperately, completely in love with you.

St. Elmo's Fire

17. You all right there, Margie?
Oh, I just think I'm gonna barf...

Fargo correctly identified by Chelsea.

18. Sorry folks, park's closed. The moose out front shoulda told ya.

National Lampoon's Vacation correctly identified by ShannonRenee.

19. Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

Caddyshack correctly identified by leigh.

20. Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam... And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...So tweasure your wuv.

The Princess Bride correctly identified by ShannonRenee.

I have to say I KNEW Sandy would know that the title of the post was from Better Off Dead.

Who me?

Beck tagged me with this meme. It requires me to think a little more than some of the meme's I've done. I'm not the most coherent person these days, but I'll give it a shot.

Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life? You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize about you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love…

• I went to college and graduated Summa Cum Laude with a BS in Mass Communications, Public Relations emphasis.
• My minor was in Speech Communications to force me to talk more since I'm what most people call "quiet." I took classes that made me get in front of the class and talk. It sucked but I did it.
• I'm still quiet.
• The paid job that I held the longest was as a clerk, then assistant manager of a shoe store. Yes, I was Al Bundy. Yes, I sometimes stick my hand in the waistband of my pants too.
• I worked for a medical association and designed several publications and their web site. I enjoyed much of the work. The office atmosphere was not so agreeable.
• I met my husband at a friend's wedding in which we were both participants. I thought his dimples were cute. He was impressed by my belching prowess.
• I'm a stay-at-home-mom now, and I couldn't imagine leaving my kids in a daycare.
• I teach Sunday school. For real. I didn't say I was good at it, and this last year I was more just a warm body in the room than anything, but I have been a Sunday school teacher for 3 years now.
• My third child was just born a few short weeks ago. Yes, third. I have three children. Yes, I know what causes that.
• Since high school, I have not been in contact with many people I went to school with, even though I am back living in the city where I graduated. Although this year my son and a former classmate's daughter were in preschool together.

Man I stink at picking people to tag. Plus I'm lazy...and I should be in bed instead of doing a meme that I just got tagged for a few hours (minutes?) ago.

Just do it if you want to and be sure to leave me a comment telling me if you do so I can read it!

Some things I'd forgotten

Before D, the last time I'd birthed a baby was almost 4 years ago. The time has traveled by in a swift blink and memories have faded.

Things that I'd forgotten since I last had a baby:

• Babies prefer to poop in a freshly changed diaper.
• Little butts make explosive poop sounds.
• It's impossible to dry off after a shower because you leak milk all over yourself.
• The idea of weaning off pain medication is somewhat scary.
• Just when you think you're done bleeding, you start again.
• You spend a lot of time with another human attached to your boob. And it's not your husband.

My day, the bulleted version

Today, I:

• rescued a fair maiden from a big bad spider.
• took my daughter to school.
• played Webkinz and snuggled with my son.
• made and ate lunch.
• took my son to school.
• got a few things at Tar-jay.
• wrestled with my cat.
• cleaned up cat vomit/hairball.
• took my cat to the vet.
• went to Hobby Lobby.
• picked up my kids at their schools.
• played Webkinz with both my kids.
• designed a rough-draft graduation announcement.
• cooked and ate supper.
• watched part of Survivor until a storm knocked it off the air.
• trimmed my daughter's bangs.
• helped my daughter brush her teeth.
• tucked my daughter in bed.
• comforted my daughter 5 minutes later when a particularly loud crack of thunder scared her so much she was shaking.
• tucked my daughter in bed. Again.
• started watching Grey's Anatomy.
• started writing a blog post.
• continued to grow a human.

So, what did you do today?

Things that make my head want to explode

Common occurrences around our house that make me think my head might explode at any minute:

1. M has worn a hole in at least one of the knees in almost every pair of jeans that I've bought for her. If anyone knows of a brand of jeans that is extra tough in the knees, please let me know because this drives me insane.


2. Approximately 30 seconds after we're done eating supper, even though she's eaten like a horse, M will ask what is for dessert. (Or what's for snack if it's after lunch.


3. K will say he's full and doesn't want supper OR dessert, then approximately half an hour later cry, because he wants dessert.


4. If I buy a bunch of bananas at a time, my kids will refuse to eat bananas until they're rotten and I've thrown them away. THEN they will ask for bananas to eat.


5. Similarly, if I just buy four bananas the kids will eat all four bananas within hours of me buying them.


6. The one thing at the store that I think of buying "just in case" we're getting low will be the thing that we have 4 bottles of stockpiled. (i.e. dish soap or butter)


7. Conversely, the thing that I'm certain we have plenty of will be the thing that we're OUT of.


8. If I take the kids to a play place or for a walk to "get their energy out" they will be even more hyper than before I took them.
9. If I need to get sleep because I need to be somewhere earlier in the morning I will most definitely have trouble sleeping.
10. Finally, if I start writing a blog post that I really like, blogger will eat my post when I hit publish (even though it supposedly saves drafts now).

So, what makes your head want to explode?

Tips for using the drop-off lane at your child’s school

1. Do not pull into the lane, get out and leave your vehicle unattended while you escort your child into the building. This is not dropping off, this is taking your child into the school. Park in a designated parking space if you want to take your child into the building.
2. Pull forward as far as you can into the lane when you come to pick up your child. The people whose cars are sitting in the street can see that if you’d just pull up we could fit 3 more cars in the lane.
3. Pick up time is not the time for a parent-teacher conference.
4. Don’t get huffy at me because I’m waiting for my child to buckle up before I pull away from the curb. It is the law. And I happen to love my child enough to keep her safe.
5. Smile and acknowledge your child’s existence when dropping her off and picking her up. Your phone call can wait a few minutes.
6. The bus lane is NOT a drop-off or pick-up lane. The rest of us are waiting in line like we're supposed to. You are not special...even if your car is yellow.

Signs you are at least half-way through your pregnancy

1. You switch to shoes that don’t need to be tied.
2. You have 3000 pillows on your bed. One of them is your husband’s.
3. Eating 2 packages of Little Debbie snack cakes in one sitting doesn’t seem unreasonable or excessive.
4. In your mind, tennis shoes qualify as dress shoes.
5. Your stretch marks start to stretch out again. (if it’s not your first pregnancy)
6. Your conversations are peppered with “excuse me” because you keep burping up your lunch.
7. When baby moves, you occasionally think that you ate something that disagreed with you.
8. Your husband avoids saying anything potentially upsetting. Or happy things. Suddenly you realize your husband hasn’t spoken to you in months.
9. People hesitantly ask you when you’re due, then look visibly relieved when you answer with a date.
10. At the end of the day, you’re not surprised to find that you’ve had part of your breakfast stuck to the bottom of your shirt all day.

30 Names

10 Celebs I find irritating

1. Bob Saget
2. Don Rickles
3. Richard Simmons
4. Tom Arnold
5. Drew Carey
6. Rosie O'Donnell
7. Paris Hilton
8. Tom Bergeron
9. Andy Dick
10. Joan Rivers

10 Actors I find attractive

1. Patrick Dempsey
2. Chris O'Donnell
3. Jerry O'Connell
4. Eddie Cibrian
5. Rob Lowe
6. Mario Lopez
7. Charlie Sheen
8. Jordi Vilasuso
9. Pierce Brosnan
10. Goran Visnjic

10 Celebs I find attractive only in a certain movie or TV show

1. Sly Stallone - Assassins
2. Hugh Jackman - Someone Like You
3. Tom Cruise - Top Gun
4. Jude Law - Talented Mr. Ripley
5. Ralph Fiennes - English Patient
6. Ethan Hawke - Reality Bites
7. Brad Pitt - Thelma and Louise, Legends of the Fall
8. Aiden Quinn - I can't think of the movie
9. Rob Estes - Silk Stalkings
10. Joaquin Phoenix - Walk the Line

Already?

Miss M decided that today was the day to write her letter to Santa.

This year, she is asking for 3 things.

1. A ski boat (A real one mind you.)
2. A radio
3. A tool box

I have warned her that Santa will likely not be able to fit the ski boat in his sleigh so she may be willing to accept some Rescue Heroes instead.

Silly meme

I saw this "Scattegories" meme on someone else's blog but I can't remember whose! Sorry!

Use the first letter of your name to answer these categories:

1. Famous Singer/Band: Hank Williams
2. Four letter word: hear
3. Street: High Street
4. Color: hazel
5. Gifts/Presents: home-made goodies
6. Vehicle: Hummer
7. Things in a Souvenir Shop: hats
8. Boy Name: Henry
9. Girl Name: Haley
10. Movie Title: Hamburger Hill
11. Drink: hot chocolate
12. Occupation: hair stylist
13. Celebrity: Holly Hunter
14. Magazine: Health
15. U.S. City: Houston
16. Pro Sports Teams: Heat
17. Fruit: honeydew
18. Reason for Being Late for Work: Hair dryer exploded
19. Something You Throw Away: hair (when you clean your brush!)
20. Things You Shout: Hey!
21. Cartoon Character: Holly Hobby

Just the (pregnancy) facts

1. Foods that you don't particularly care for will cause an immediate urge to lose your lunch. Therefore, your kids will ask for said food multiple times a day. For me? Bananas. Urp. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth thinking about them.
2. Some food you may not have previously liked you will suddenly crave. When I was pregnant with K I wanted tomatoes all the time. Now I love tomatoes.
3. The "girls" will feel like someone has been using them as punching bags. Naturally, around this time your kids will begin to use your left one as leverage to steady themselves while getting their pants on in the morning.
4. The urge to barf will occur at the most inconvenient times.
5. Your baby will probably begin to demand copious amounts of chocolate, even when he or she is the size of a grain of rice.
6. If you're prone to crying when you're not pregnant, be prepared to have tears in your eyes over the store not having your favorite brand of mustard in stock.

Sooo, yeah. Beginning the feeling craptastick stage. While I feel craptastick, I also feel a bit relieved.

The post about searches

I'm finally going to do one of those posts about the weird searches that bring people to my blog. I wrote these down last month so I can't say they're recent searches, but they're sort of recent.

Here they are: (Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.)

1. the Bruce Jenner story runs home to get the bedsheets
2. handy chopper orange button
3. (edited... 3 words that describe someone in their birthday suit...and these were in all CAPS) family boating videoclips
4. buy cool new shoes
5. menu for bunco
6. in-laws staying
7. pringles select
8. punishment for hubby diapers

Honestly. WTF?

I have it in my head...now it's in yours...

You're driving along and a song comes on the radio. Instantly you are transported to another place, another time.

It hits me at odd times, caused by seemingly strange songs to be nostalgic about. I was watching TV the other night and someone mentioned the group Wreckx-N-Effect. I was suddenly in my blue Toyota MR2, picking up a young junior hockey player for a date. Seriously. I asked him out and I picked him up in my car. We went to a movie and I thought it would be funny to play the song "Rump Shaker" for him on the way home. He was not impressed and the date was pretty much a disaster from start to finish. Go figure.

Now that I think about it, that wasn't even that song that I played for him, but for some reason that one made me think of him.

Occasionally I will get my friend Rachel and my rendition of 99 Bottles of Beer in my head. We drove from Mankato to Rochester in her little wagon that, let's just say, needed a little work. The windows couldn't be rolled down and it was hot that day. The hatch was bungee-corded shut. Worse, the radio didn't work so we amused ourselves by singing duets. She is great at harmonizing.

Any song from the Top Gun soundtrack takes me back to when that movie was popular. "Playing With the Boys" especially always makes me think of summer time.

I can't hear the song "Tainted Love" without recalling the "argument" that my friend and her then-boyfriend (now husband) had about who sings it.* We actually had to go to Sam Goody to look in one of those books that lists all the songs. (We didn't have easy Internet access, and the Internet wasn't then what it is now.)

These memories came to me as I was thinking about writing this meme...

Mrs. Chicken asked me to list the top 7 songs that I am into right now. She asked so nicely I had to oblige.

1. Walk the Line - Johnny Cash
2. Real Gone - Sheryl Crow
3. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
4. How to Save a Life - The Fray
5. Beautiful Boy - John Lennon
6. The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel
7. Home - Michael Buble

* In case you're wondering, it's by Soft Cell.

M and K resemble who??

So I tried the face recognition thing from Jeff's post with my kids too.


Their results were nicer than mine, which was expected since my kids are adorable.

We went out to eat the night that I took these photos, and M wanted to look her best at supper. Naturally, that requires jewels.

M's results:

64% Camile Velasco
56% BoA
55% Shane Filan
54% Lisa Ling
54% Rachel Hunter
53% Zac Hanson
52% Angelina Jolie
52% Meg Ryan
51% Marianne Faithfull
50% Alexis Bledel

K apparently takes after me with the resembling the opposite sex. At least he looks like pretty women, not old men! It's his beautiful big brown eyes and those long eyelashes.

K's results:

70% Oprah Winfrey (huh?)
60% Joan Collins
58% Peter Jackson
55% Miriam Young
55% Jennifer Garner
54% Sissy Spacek
54% Bunko Kanazawa
52% Charlize Theron
51% Mark Hamil
51% Angelina Jolie

I found it interesting that they both look about 50% like Angelina Jolie.

Products I like...

I don't know if everyone is a freak like me, but there are just some products that I really like to have around. And there are some things that I have around that I'm not sure why I have them.

I'm sure the lists are incomplete...

Things I like:
1. Pampered Chef stoneware...I have 2 bar pans and 1 pizza stone. Essential cookware.
2. Clorox Wipes.
3. Dustbuster.
4. Fantastik Oxyclean.
5. Pampered Chef large Micro Cooker.
6. LED flashlight (I use this every night, sometimes for hours to read in bed and the batteries last for months.)
7. My bread machine.
8. A marble cheese slicer my parents gave me. (Makes it so quick to... well, slice cheese.)
9. Disposable plastic boxes. (Glad, Ziplock, whatever brand)
10. Baggies. Especially those snack-size bags.
11. Portable DVD player for the car. Those long car trips are soooo much more bearable.
12. My heating pad. My back really appreciates this.
13. Storage containers.
14. IKEA plastic kids' bowls and plates.
15. A pink "Ladies Tool Set" that I received from a friend as a bridal shower gift. I've used it many, many times. (And so has Craig, and he knows if he uses my tools they must be returned to the case!)
16. Black & Decker Handy Chopper.


Things I own but don't have a major use for:

1. Pampered Chef chopper.
2. Massager. (Apparently you need someone else in order for these to be effective.)
3. Lots of baby stuff.
4. Clothing sizes 8, 10, 12, um. You get the idea.



What are your favorite products? What do you have that you haven't found much use for?

Do you know of any uses for that Pampered Chef chopper??

Top 10 Things I Hate Buying

10. Contacts
9. Dish soap and laundry detergent
8. Meat
7. Oil changes/windshield wipers/misc. junk for the car
6. Printer ink
5. Haircuts (especially for myself)
4. Paper towels
3. Clothes for myself
2. Toilet Paper
1. Maxi pads

So, what do you all hate buying?

Face the Music

I was looking through my old cassette tapes the other day. What??? What are those???

I had some diverse taste in music as a teen.

Here is a sample of the cassettes in my old cases:

Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians - Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars
The Jets - Magic
6 KISS albums
Guns -N- Roses - GNR Lies
Eric Clapton - Unplugged
2 Tiffany albums
3 Debbie Gibson albums (I didn't remember that she had that many.)
Limited Warranty
3 Pink Floyd albums
20 Greatest Hits from 1957
Living Color - Vivid
Ton Loc - Loc-ed After Dark
Gary Glitter's Greatest Hits
The Doors
The Steve Miller Band
Madonna
The Shirelles
The Wonder Years soundtrack
The Stones

Come to think of it, I still have a wide variety of music in my house. But now I've added classical and kids songs...

10 things I like about me.

So now here's the positive side of things...

1. I think almost everyone is older than me.


2. I look in a mirror and (incorrectly) think I don’t look so fat.


3. When my kids are hysterical, I can calm them down.


4. I can get my kids to sleep relatively quickly.


5. I have a fabulous family.


6. I try to make friends in as many ways as I can come up with.


7. I think I’m relatively intelligent.


8. I take some decent photos and make some decent cards. And do some decent scrapbook layouts too I suppose.


9. I’m a fiercely loyal friend.


10. I’m generally a positive person, regardless of my previous negative posts.

Okay, now post your 10 things!