Goodbye Elementary School

Today is Ms. D's last day of elementary school. All of my kids are out of elementary school! It feels strange to have older kids, but it also feels fantastic. I miss the babies they were, but I am also enjoying the young adults they are becoming.

D is sad to be leaving her elementary school, just as her siblings were. It's a great school. The atmosphere when you enter the building has always exuded a welcoming vibe. We were lucky to be able to send our kids to this "choice" school that always has a lottery drawing and wait list to get in. It has an alternate schedule from the rest of the school district with 45 days in school, then 15 days off. Then they had 6 weeks off for summer break. We enjoyed the schedule. It was always a relief to have a break during the school year.

Now we will all be on the same schedule though (since I work at a school as well) and that will be good for us all. Finally we will all have 3 months of summer together. (Except Craig, unfortunately, who continues his regular work since he doesn't work in a school like I do.)

Miss M brought up the "Fun Box" the other day and wondered where it was. I'm not sure I can find it, but we might just resurrect it for this summer. Let the fun begin!

Per Miss M's Request

Hi! I have been absent here for a long time again. Miss M and I were talking and it turns out she likes it when I write about her and she wanted me to start to write again. She almost always gets what she wants so I guess this is no different.

I'll give you the Cliff Notes version of what you've missed to start.

Miss M is now 16, almost 17. She's driving. A car. By herself. Today she scheduled college classes for her senior year of high school. (Post-secondary education option) She has a boyfriend who lives in another state. We visited him and his family last summer and he flew here to take her to prom last month. He's a nice kid and he makes her laugh so that's half the requirements for a good relationship right there. M was playing softball up until this year when a certain coach killed her love of the game. Pisses me off to no end, but that's another post for another day. I think I have a pretty good relationship with Miss M, but I have been known to make some major embarrassing mom blunders, so that might depend on the day or the week. Oh and she's GORGEOUS. I'll post a photo in a future post. Maybe. Or I'll just keep her gorgeousness to myself. We shall see.

In other news, my son emerged from his room, sat on my lap, and farted on me just now, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Speaking of the K Man, he just finished his Freshie year in high school. He's finding high school much more tolerable than middle school was and is doing well. He's always been a bit worried about his (lack of) height but is now almost as tall as I am. (I'm 5'9") The boy eats constantly but is still skinny as a rail. I miss those days when I was like that! K Man makes me laugh all the time, and I make him laugh too. I think we have very similar senses of humor. It's almost like I birthed and raised him! Weird! K Man will be 15 this summer so driver's education and permit for driving are in his near future. He is a computer whiz and teaching himself to code in several languages. I don't even know what he's doing because I'm not that smart. Oh and he's such a HANDSOME dude. Of course he is, because I grew him.

Ms. D. My baby. She is finishing with elementary school and heading for middle school. I NO LONGER HAVE KIDS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! (After 2 more days.) She had her 5th grade slide show today that we give a "baby" photo for and then they take a current photo. Everyone knew D right away because she's just always been Ms. D. This girl is full of confidence and sass. I have no worries about her fading into the background anywhere. But she is also kind, I hope. Though we have our moments where the sass comes out and I have to tell her she is just being rude. She's playing softball, following in her sister's footsteps, but getting more of a chance at it since M didn't start playing until 9th grade. Should have started her sooner, but I didn't think or know about it I guess. D is learning to pitch, but she lacks discipline so far. Hope she can focus in the future!

My husband is still around. I've rarely, if ever, written about him, because I try to respect that my need to write doesn't mean it's okay to write about others. We've been married for a little more than 18 1/2 years now and together for about 23 years. We have a real relationship. I don't pretend it's always roses. If anyone married for a number of years says it's all fantastic I'm pretty sure they're lying. But we're committed to each other and we make it work. We've been through a lot of shit together. Health problems for our parents is challenging these last several years. His brother's death. Aunts and Uncles of both of ours passing on. Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. But we keep at it. We'll get through this too.

As for me? I'm working with kids who struggle with life in general. I'm about one year away from becoming a mental health practitioner. Every day I work with kids is an adventure. I am the safe person for several students. Most of the kids I work with have had or are experiencing some type of childhood trauma. I've forged relationships. I've been kicked. I still know those kids need someone like me.

Until next time.

Writing Vomit #3

I spent all last week in bed with the flu. I had the flu shot. I even messaged my doctor within 48 hours of symptoms to get Tamiflu, but I still ended up out of work for a week. It was partly due to how I felt, and partly due to my work with kids and a few adults at school who happen to be immuno-compromised right now. So now it's Sunday again. I started feeling the symptoms last Sunday evening. It's been a really long, and somewhat boring week.

Whenever I miss things that other people are continuing to participate in (ie..LIFE) it is a struggle for me to get back to reality. Anxiety tends to make me worry that others are judging me and maybe thinking they are better off without me. Everyone is replaceable. I'm not naive enough to not know that. I'm also smart enough to know that to some people, I may be irreplaceable. The problem with that knowledge is that most of the time we don't know the who that we are irreplaceable for. (Besides the obvious family.) Maybe there is a student at school that looks forward to interaction with me. That student is probably not the one I think it is. Or there could be several who look forward to seeing me, but one or two that NEED to see me. Those that need me are probably the ones that would surprise me if I knew.

I chatted with a coworker a couple of weeks ago about working with the kids. It was sort of an "in general" conversation about how cool the kids are to work with. My coworker shared that they did not like who they were before they started working in the school. Now they like who they are because the kids make them better. (I'm using they/them to maintain privacy...I do know proper grammar.) I have to agree that working with kids can make you a better person, but you have to have patience and be able to share control.

Sharing control is a hard thing for many adults, in my opinion. Adults like kids to do what they are told, simply because an adult said they should. If you want a child's (or anyone's) respect you have to share control. What is it? Love and Logic that says to offer choices, but they must all be choices that the adult can live with. "You may have the pink or white carton of milk" (not the chocolate but we don't mention that.) "Would you like to hop to the room or walk?" "Would you like to hold my hand or that teacher's hand?" It's also important to avoid saying no as much as possible. "Can I have a snack?" "Yes, when you have completed 2 more problems." Though this is probably a poor example. In general, if kids ask for a snack they are genuinely hungry where I work.

Which brings up another point. One of my young co-workers asked why/how some of the kids' brains have been affected adversely. I tried to explain that if basic life needs are not met, the brain cannot develop properly. If a child is not getting proper nutrition, the brain won't grow. If a child is sick a lot, they can't work on things like learning language, crawling, walking, etc. If a child is homeless, doing homework, learning to read and write, and learning social cues take a back seat to learning to survive.

There are other coworkers who constantly judge these kids. Those coworkers are, in comparison, in a position of privilege compared to those kids. I can't explain things to these people, mostly because of privacy laws, but also because I don't think they'll ever understand it all. No one wants to have issues. No one wants mental illness or developmental delays. We all want to be "normal" whatever that means. We want to be the average person at the very least. In fact, these children (and adults) want desperately to NOT need help and to be like "everyone else." This want/hope/NEED to be like "everyone else" causes many of these kids to actively refuse help even when they need it. We all have pride. It is hard to accept help.

Give me an instance you accepted help...

Looking for the Slo-Mo Button

 It's one of those things that people tell you all the time when your kids are babies... "Oh the time goes so fast." I always laughed and agreed but I don't think I really realized how quickly the years would seem to pass. But suddenly my first baby is 10 years old and in her final year of elementary school. She's irritated by this only because she will be out of the school the year before her little sister starts Kindergarten there. She feels a bit ripped off that she doesn't get to go to school with her.

By the end of this school year I will need to face the fact that my first baby will be in middle school. There is a smaller school that I hope to send her to but there are a lot of people who'd like their kids to attend school there so we will be subjected to a lottery. If she doesn't get selected as a student there, my first reaction is to home-school her. She learns pretty easily (especially considering the difficulties her brother faces) so I think it would be okay. I think. I'd still rather see her attend the middle school though.

Middle school scares me though. I'm not ready for any of my children to graduate to the pre-teen angst. Middle school was hard for me. Girls can be very cruel to one another. I have a strong feeling that it's worse today than it was when I was in school.

M still assumes the best of people, which is both good and bad. Sometimes she just doesn't realize that someone is not being kind to her or that someone may not be treating others nicely. I've talked to her about a few of the girls in her class and she's been slowly separating herself from these girls with questionable motives. Her teacher remarked at her conference last week that M is especially kind. She helps her classmates who have more trouble learning than she does. She doesn't realize she's helping herself as well (to teach someone to do something reinforces your own learning of it) and she does it selflessly. I want her to retain this kindness, but I don't want people to take advantage of her kindness either.

I don't want them to hurt her beautiful heart. That's the part of parenting that stinks the most...knowing you have to let your child get hurt sometimes...knowing it is a part of growing up and growing away.

We Learn to Deal With Learning Disability

 K Man's official medical diagnosis is a "disorder of written expression" (which is also called dysgraphia) and ADD NOS (though I disagree with this assessment since it was made before his dysgraphia diagnosis.)  We obtained the diagnosis a little more than a year ago and floundered all last year about what to do with the information.

This year, the school is taking things more seriously. (It was an unusual year the last part of the school year last year and we wondered if some of the issues were related to family crises such as losing an uncle at a young age and a grandfather having a life-threatening illness.)

We've met and drafted a 504 plan. Thus far, the principal and the district psychologist do not think he qualifies for an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), mostly because his IQ scores during his testing were high. So, we know he is intelligent (which, if you know him, is quite obvious.) but his school testing is consistently below grade level in reading fluency (though not comprehension), writing and especially spelling. Spelling in particular is a nightmare. He has fewer words to study (an accommodation we put in place last year) but still spells only 1-3 words correctly on a given test. Occasionally, there is an anomaly and he'll get 12 correct even when he's only supposed to study 10. (This has only happened twice.)

Under his 504, he will be tested away from the majority of his class in small group settings or just him with a paraprofessional. He expressed great relief when he heard of this because he said "Oh good! Now I don't have to hear the kids sharpen their pencils." It should be noted that he's been known to sharpen his pencil several times during the day, but if he thinks this will help, so be it. He will have non-reading and non-spelling related tests read to him so we can test his knowledge in each subject without bringing his disability into the mix.

There are other accommodations as well.

After I asked some questions, he told me recently that it physically hurts him to write for any length of time. I can't imagine what that is like, especially when everyone is asking you to write all the time. He pointed to the area beneath and around and his thumb and said his wrist also causes him pain. For someone like me, who loves to write and loves the feel of a great pen or pencil on paper, this is disheartening to hear. He'll never love writing like I do.

He consistently reverses letters and numbers even now in 3rd grade. Bs and Ds are especially difficult still, as well as 2s and 5s. He's been taking his spelling tests on the computer for a while now. When he reads he skips words, skips entire lines, adds words and sometimes simply guesses on what he thinks the sentence will be. His fluency has improved since the end of July (when my bigs started school) but it is still below grade level.

I wish there were some magical solution to make his brain work like most everyone else's, but I suspect that he wouldn't be the unique kid that he is if that were the case. The challenge is to teach his differently-wired brain to learn the things he needs to succeed in life. Our journey is just beginning and I worry daily. I don't ever want to have a regret I didn't help him enough.

As I Once Again Consider "Unschooling"

There is a reason for traditional education. People make judgements about you by the way you speak, the way you write, even the way you dress. I once got a job because I wore nice shoes to the interview.

There are also reasons to buck tradition and cultivate unique talents in individuals. It used to be that you could graduate from high school and get on-the-job training. It seems that is a thing of the past and I think it's sad.

I'm willing to bet there are several qualified people out there who couldn't go to college that would be perfect for on-the-job training, who would also happily work at that job for a lifetime. Many businesses are going to only hiring college graduates now. I think these are the people who will view any "starter job" as just that. Temporary. Then the company will be forced to train another person every 1-2 years instead of training one person for 30 years.

I went on this tangent of thought following my son's school conference. He has much work to do to catch up to his peers. Dyslexia sucks. (But I will take dyslexia if it means avoiding cancer and more craptastic obstacles in life.) He is trying SO HARD to learn and it is still falling short. I am trying with everything I have to make sure he knows he is SMART. Oh boy is this kid SMART!

I can't help but think of genius like Einstein.

Don't misunderstand. My son's IQ is not in the genius range. (And I'm happy that it isn't.) Super intelligence seems to beget super problems socially. My son is very social and very enthusiastic about life...most of the time.

But my son struggles in school. He's reading at about a first grade level near the end of second grade. His writing is sloppy (in Kindergarten it was remarkably neat...I don't know where it went wrong.) and his spelling is atrocious.

I wonder how much these things matter though. How often do you hand write something at your job? When do you not have access to a spell check? (Seems like spelling tests should focus on homophones.)

If you are going to be a cashier, learning to make change is still important. What if you type in the wrong thing to the register? Is it really necessary to call a manager to make change when someone has a bill of $12.06, gives you a $20 and 6 cents?

There is a disconnect with teaching children real life skills.

Things most people should know by the time they are adults:

1. How to separate clothes before washing.
2. How to run the washing machine.
3. How to toast a slice of bread.
4. How to make change.
5. How to sew on a button.
6. Basic manners: ie: holding a door open, letting a pregnant woman pee before you if there's a line, expressing gratitude when someone helps you, and for the love of God pick the thing up if someone drops it.
7. How to make small talk and make someone feel special. (I have crapped out on this one.)
8. Recognize that the world owes you nothing.
9. Give your elders the respect they deserve. (Not if they are abusive or other non-respectful crap.)
10. Know what to do if you are separated from your group.

My son is very intelligent. His niche is there, whatever he wants to do and to be.

Traditional school does not hold my heart.

And The Boy Struggles On

My son is a remarkable person. I'd guess that most people who meet him will remember him for a long time. My evidence of this is when we visited Amish country one year later and one of the Amish ladies asked us if we'd been there before. We said yes but there was no spark to her memory until K Man came around the corner and started chatting with her. "Oh yes!" she said, recognition breaking through. "I remember him!" He makes an impression.

When we finally had him tested for ADHD and learning disabilities, it was a hard decision to make. I worried that he would be diagnosed with ADHD and we'd have to put him on medication. I worried he'd be a different kid. It turned out that he was "borderline" ADHD which led us to test him for learning disabilities.

Short story, for those who haven't read about it, is that he has "a disorder of written expression" which is a round-about way of saying he has dyslexia. (Or a more specific way of describing the area of his particular disability.)

We met with the principal of his school who then met with K's teacher and other staff to make a plan for him. The plan was implemented last quarter. Or at least we thought it was.

My son's self-esteem has dropped. Kids at school are teasing him because he "won't get enough points to pass" second grade. His teacher told me she didn't have time to do some of the things in the plan. He started refusing to do even math problems that he knows how to do (saying he didn't know how to do them). That was a big signal to me that he is feeling badly.

I take some of the blame in that I didn't speak up immediately. So now we've lost an entire quarter of my son's academics staying at a flat line once again instead of moving forward.

I spoke with the principal again and he spoke with my son's teacher (who, I'm told, was crying and the kids thought she was being fired. ::guilt::) and the plan is supposedly going to be followed now. MY plan includes checking on the plan at least once a week.

I can admit that my social anxiety gets in the way sometimes, but I will definitely advocate for my kids. I also need to do more reading about how to help teach my son. What have other parents of kids who struggle with dyslexia done?

Diagnosed: Or, I'm Pretty Much Always Right

If you read my post yesterday you know I've been worrying about my Boy.

Moms KNOW when things are wrong. I've especially known with my son. He had several ear infections as a baby. The nurses would shake their heads and humor me but it was clear they thought I was an over-reactive mother. Every time I brought him in he had an ear infection. I just knew.

So my husband and I went to the Mayo Clinic yesterday morning to find out the results of the K Man's 4-hour tests.

Things we learned:

Our son is very intelligent. (No kidding! I knew that!)

He's exceptionally brilliant with verbal skills. (When he talks nonstop? Thanks Captain Obvious!)

Math skills? Average. Math word problems? Exceptional.

We were told that they diagnose disabilities when intelligence scores and skill scores differ by 15 points or more. K's intelligence and spelling scores differed by 40 points.

What does this mean? It means he is extraordinarily intelligent. It also means that when it comes to spelling and writing, he has a block.

Dyslexia is a term that Mayo no longer uses. Too general. Too broad. K's disorder is something to do with writing. The technical term escapes me, as it did the physician who had to check his notes. It's new terminology. It narrows the diagnosis.

I'm both relieved and sad. I knew there was something going on with him. I KNEW he was sooooo smart. Now we'll learn together how to teach differently.

Have I mentioned that I love the heck out of this kid?

First Day of School 2011

In Which I Reveal More Issues...and other random crap

I'm packing. If you've ever tried to get 4 (in some ways, 5) people ready for a week away from home, you know that I'm pretty much nuts. Which isn't to say that I'm not nuts normally. I have medication for that.

Every year I think I'm over-packing clothing. Every year my son proves I should have packed more. Every year I worry I'm not bringing enough food. Then I remember there is a grocery store not far away. It's more expensive than the stores here, but sometimes it's just better to pay more than to make yourself extra nutty.

Miss M told me she thinks no one pays attention to her, which is funny since she gets compliments from me AND complete strangers daily. She's jealous of her little sister...something I suspected would come up sooner or later. It's hard because I can only relate as having once been an eight-year-old girl with a brother. Though my brother was older. I don't know what it's like to be an oldest child. I don't know what it's like to have younger siblings. I don't know what it's like to have a sister.

I've walked in her shoes in fraction.

She's the child I worry over the most. The oldest. The Practice child. The one I will probably screw up the most. I worry about her image of herself. I worry that kids at school will damage her beautiful heart and spirit. I worry.

She's almost nine and I'm making an effort to treat her as the big girl she is, though she has her little girl moments. (And thank goodness for those or I'd probably be sent to the nut house.) The little girl moments run the gamut from sweet to annoying and perplexing. I try to have exclusive mom and M time as often as I can, but it never seems to be enough. Pretty sure that's the definition of quality time when you have more than one kid.

She makes me laugh. I make her laugh. She has a wonderful sense of humor.

She saw a classmate when we were out shopping the other day. My kids go to a school that is very diverse ethnically. I love that she and K thought nothing about throwing their arms around a classmate that is different from them. Most of the time I think they see no differences...which is much of the goal I had when I chose their school. When your kids automatically point out who they are talking about by their clothes and not their skin color...that's cool.

When I was eight I had just moved to Minnesota from New York. My accent made me weird. Before I moved I was outgoing and my teacher wanted me to shut up. In Minnesota, the teachers said I needed to talk more. Minnesota was intimidating, apparently. My teacher in 3rd grade had a nervous breakdown and told us kids the only reason she taught was for the money. So that was nice.

I misunderstood some teasing as hurtful when, in retrospect, it was probably not at all mean-spirited.

I love that M mostly lets teasing roll off her back. She sees the best in people and expects the best. I pray that she has no reason to change.

First and Last Day

The Standoff

It's time to read. Go get your book.

It shouldn't be a big deal. It shouldn't, but it is. My boy dislikes doing homework. I know, pretty much all kids hate doing homework and most adults do too. He balks at the mere mention of future homework.

He's only in first grade. He has very little homework, truth be told.

I should have known he would resist homework. He resisted "have-tos" in preschool. He feels strongly that no one should tell him he has to do anything. (Honestly, I feel my feet digging in at similar things.) Last quarter, the homework battles got so bad that I met with his teachers to find out if there was something more going on. No, he's perfectly behaved for them. Works hard. Polite. No, he reserves these delightful battles for me. (and occasionally his dad)

This night? He's tired. Just his third day back at school after the Christmas break and after having a Cub Scout meeting the night before, he's beyond tired. He was unable to hold himself together at his scout meeting. It's hard for a young boy (especially such a spirited boy) to sit still and listen for so many hours in a day.

The simple command to get his book to read started it all.

First, he flat-out refused. We were forced to remove the "kids'" laptop computer (my old one) from his room, because it was a privilege to use it in his room but when you're irresponsible you lose privileges. The sight of the computer sent him in a deeper spiral.

He retreated to the corner of our dining room. He could still see me and hear both his dad and I. He was angry. Oh, the temper of that boy. (Quicker than his mother's but just as intense.)

His protests started about the injustice of having the computer removed from his room. He gave us his terms, mistakenly believing that he was in a position to negotiate. We calmly refused all demands and reminded him who makes the rules in the house. (Not the little boy.)

He escalated to informing us that he was leaving "in ten minutes!" and that we were going to be sorry when we saw that happen "in ten minutes." I was told I was to drive him to his Aunt and Uncle's house. I had to refuse.

You can have my chair, Mom.

What chair?

My new desk chair. You can have it when I'm gone.

Oh, that would make me too sad too see it. It would remind me of you.

That's why you can have it.

Oh, that would make me way too sad to see it and remember you left me because you didn't want to do your homework.

Oh.

Silence.

You can come and visit me at Jason and Kristi's house if you want to.

I'm afraid I don't make it over to their house very often. I guess I'd see you once or twice a year. Or I suppose you could stay here and I could see you every day.

More silence.

Would it be better if we walked to the chair together to read or would you like to walk by yourself?

He chose to crawl, like a dog, because he was wearing his Scooby Doo pajamas.

He climbed into my lap, read his two (6-page) books with very few problems and it was over.

The first homework standoff of 2011.

Random Thoughts Waterpark Style

We took our kids to an indoor waterpark in a hotel in a city about an hour away from us. It was a carrot we dangled in front of the older two kids to motivate them to do well in school during the first quarter. Conferences in the books (report cards still on the way) we know that the kids tried hard, worked hard...did their best or nearly their best...and that is about all we can ask. Most days they did their homework without complaint. Their teachers both commented on how well-liked they are and how much they, as teachers, enjoy our children. I suppose they sort of have to say that to everyone, but they were very convincing if they don't really enjoy our kids.

So Tuesday afternoon (Craig took off work Tuesday and Wednesday) we loaded up the car and drove to the hotel. We arrived about 2:40 and asked for early check-in (regular time is 4 p.m.) and were granted early access to our room. We got in, got settled, got our swim suits on just in time for the water park to open at 3.

Early in the day I knew I was getting a cold. Through perhaps just positive thoughts I was mostly fine most of the time we were in the waterpark. I had to blow my nose occasionally but it was fine...for nearly 6 hours.

Yes, we swam and rode down water slides for almost 6 hours straight. AND...we were the only family there. So we had two lifeguards for our family of 5. I felt a little guilty but that's because I'm a mom and a Minnesotan. It's in the rule books. Check it out.

Ms D, clad in her life jacket insisted on being left to her own devices, especially while in the lazy river. "I simming Mama!"

We almost got K Man to go down the water slide, which has been a struggle for about 4 years now. (Thanks to his mom who took him down a slide when he was two and failed at the "keeping the kid from going under" requirement when you take a young kid down a water slide. Yeah. I suck.) It was close. He seemed excited to go, then got half-way up the stairs before a freak-out. I gave him a pep-talk and we got him all the way up the stairs. More pep-talk and he consented to sit in the tube. Then he got out and walked down the stairs. You might think I should have hopped in and made him sail down the slide. But I reassured my son I would NOT do that to him. Above everything, I want my children to trust me so I will NEVER do that sort of thing to them.

Miss M is already a fish. She has been since the day she started swimming lessons (and I suspect her little sister will follow her.) and I've asked her several times if she'd like to be a life guard. Her response is always "No. Because then you don't get to swim." It makes sense I suppose but if you have to have a job...

My husband is a much better swimmer than I. I wear my contacts in the pool because it freaks me out to not see well...especially when I'm watching kids. I don't like to get my face wet anyway so that cuts down on "splashing" fun. (This aversion to water in the face seems to hold true for all of my kids in varying degrees though.)

I can swim. Not well. I am mostly self-taught. I do a mean side-stroke. My daughter was impressed with my scissor kick. I can float on my back, I can do the back stroke, I can do anything that doesn't involve putting my eyes in the water.

It was a lot of fun. I enjoyed the lazy river, grabbing a kick board to help me float or just using my own buoyancy (which I have plenty!) it is fun to just ride the current in circles. D, M, Craig and I enjoyed the tube slide. M enjoyed the body slide.

Nearly 6 hours in the water. The only people in the park.

It was pretty fun.

Then we hit the hot tub one last time, headed to our room and popped some popcorn. (Boy Scout popcorn so even better than regular...order some from my son?) The kids were up very late for them...even Ms. D...she fought the good fight but passed out in a chair upright. The Bigs made it to 10 before they couldn't do it anymore. (NYE may be an almost full family affair this year?)

Pretty much my whole family was asleep while I coughed, blew my nose (so much that we ran out of scratchy tissues and I had to resort to scratchy toilet paper...my nose hates me) 4927 times then tried to sleep without having snot running into my mouth.

FUN!

Despite my personal health issues, I'm happy my kids had fun. That's what matters, right?

RIGHT?

A New Role, or, Why Yes I AM Crazy

Today was the first meeting of Miss M's Brownie Girl Scout troop. It went fairly well. I know because I was there. As a co-leader. I even made a little game and showed the girls how to make a game for themselves. I rocked the game. Seriously. It is a cute game.

We talked about feelings and body language and how great it is that our bodies can move in so many cool ways. We're working on two "Try-its" (they were called badges when I was in Girl Scouts...maaaaaany moons ago.) at the same time, over two meetings.

It's sort of fun, but also very trying. I brought D with me, and she did well most of the time, but did get restless as is expected of a toddler. K Man was supposed to play with the other leader's son, but apparently they weren't playing together so much as K Man watched her son play. So. Not sure how that part of the deal is going to work.

The girls are enthusiastic and fun. I've known most of them since they were in Kindergarten. Most of them went on the overnight trip with us which let me get to know them even more. So this year will be a new adventure and I'll really get to know these girls. That can only be a good thing when the preteen and teen years are looming ahead along with all the drama that entails. (Not that there is any lack of drama already. Sigh.)

I can guarantee that if you'd asked me a few months ago if I would be a Brownie troop co-leader I'd have said Hell-to-the-no. But, I guess that's what being a mom does to you. You agree to things you never thought you would because you love that little person.

Tips for Using the Drop Off Lane at School

I posted this two years ago, but since school has started for some of us, and will be starting soon for the rest of you I thought it was necessary to re post this. Already I have dealt with all of this again this year.

1. Do not pull into the lane, get out and leave your vehicle unattended while you escort your child into the building. This is not dropping off, this is taking your child into the school. Park in a designated parking space if you want to take your child into the building.
2. Pull forward as far as you can into the lane when you come to pick up your child. The people stuck waiting in their cars out in the street can see that if you'd just pull up we could fit 3 more cars in the lane.
3. Pick up time is not the time for a parent-teacher conference.
4. Don't get huffy at me because I'm waiting for my children to buckle up before I pull away from the curb. It is the law. And I happen to love my children enough to keep them safe.
5. Smile and acknowledge your child or children when dropping off and picking up. Your phone call can wait a few minutes.
6. The bus lane is NOT a drop-off or pick-up lane. The rest of us are waiting in line like we're supposed to. Despite what you think you are not special...even if you think your yellow car qualifies as a bus.

Back to School Haiku

The end of summer
break always comes way too soon.
Back to the routine.

Even though the kids
have been fighting for two weeks
Mommy will miss them.

But they will have fun
learn, turn into bigger kids.
More fun next summer.

Summer Swan Song

Summer, for us, is singing it's swan song. My Bigs start school on Wednesday. I've been absent online, much more absent than I've been in a long time. I marked all read in my reader. More than once. It's not you, it's me. I've been enjoying my family. I packed as much fun into six weeks as I could. We went to new places, revisited old places, hung out at home (rarely).

The kids have been bickering almost constantly for the last 2 weeks. Even Ms. D has joined in the fun. I've said it before and I'll probably repeat myself 436 more times, these kids know one another so well they know just what buttons to push to irritate one another. Probably not a big deal to them in reality. It's annoying to the parent who has to listen to the whining. Such is parenting.

We've hit the Spam museum, visited a nearby Amish community, toured a cave, visited the MN zoo twice (or is it three times?). We've gone swimming several times. We've played at many parks. We went on vacation with our extended family and had yet another fantastic week "up north." There was more. My mind is terrible at remembering so that is why I take photos to remind me of where I've been.

We have had a fantastic summer. I've learned more about my kids. We've had great talks. We've admitted our love and our failings. I've been told I'm the best and the meanest mom on the planet. I know they lean toward the best. I know it. I even tell them that I do things because I am mean and they laugh!

I had some goals for myself that I didn't meet. But my most important goal was to give my kids a fun summer and I think I accomplished that...even with the bickering.

The Beginning and the End

Amazing.

School Haiku

It is the last day
I have a Kindergartner
and second-grader.

If these kids don't stop
growing up so darned all fast
I may have to cry.

How do you sleep at night?

Most nights sleep is elusive around here. For the most part we are night owls...programmed that way through no fault of anyone. My husband is not a night owl. D seems to not be a night owl. But K and M are like their mother. They'd just as soon stay up late at night and sleep later in the morning (although the sleeping later in the morning often has to be suggested the night before).

This break from school has been really fun so far. The big kids have stayed up later and we've played Wii games. They've mostly slept in and come in to cuddle with me in the mornings. I would love to have nights like this all the time. Darn school and having to learn and stuff!

Except I know my kids enjoy school most of the time. I don't think I have the patience for homeschooling. I wish I did. I would guess my kids would miss the activity of the schools anyway. But this has nothing to do with what I was writing about anyway. So. Nice tangent Heather.

The evenings arrive are met with much resistance here. No one wants to sleep when it is "time" to sleep. My son in particular gets out of bed at least 4 times to "use the bathroom" even though he's used it less than 20 minutes prior. I started to worry about his bathroom habits about a year ago because I thought he might be diabetic. Well, he's not and apparently he just pees a lot. So that's fun to have a kid with a teeny tiny bladder.

M was shocked to learn that I "knew" that she did not go to sleep right away when we tucked her in. Funny how things in her room tend to change position from when I've tucked her in at night to the morning. Couldn't be because she's playing or reading or whatever after we've declared "lights out".

Funny thing about "lights out" is that M has progressed to trying to be secretive. She uses her night light to read, huddling near the light by the wall...or finds a flashlight and lays in bed with the dim light. K on the other hand continues to not care that we can see his light is on in his bedroom, yet he seems shocked when we enter and tell him he needs to go to sleep.

I can always tell when it has been a wonderful full day with my kids. Everyone goes to sleep without issue...and mostly within minutes of the declared bedtime. If only their mother was smart enough to go to bed early on those nights too.