This Title Has Nothing to do With This Post

Today is a big day in many ways. It shouldn't be, I suppose, but it just struck me that it kind of is whether I want it to be or not.

My mom is having surgery on her second eye (and last one, because she only has 2 eyes now) to remove cataracts. My dad had the same surgery just a few weeks ago and it's still hard to get used to seeing him without glasses. I hope the outcome is as great for my mom as it has been for my dad. I'm so happy that they can see so well and no longer need (or will probably no longer need!) glasses. I've joked with them that they might wish they couldn't see ME so clearly. It's probably very scary to see me with such clarity.

Today is also my parents' oldest grandchild's tenth birthday. When he was born, I was about 2 months pregnant with Miss M. My sister-in-law had to have an unplanned c-section a little earlier than planned because the amniotic fluid was leaking somehow. He was also breech, so he apparently just really wanted to be force-ably evicted like my children. I was disappointed to hear that she had to have a c-section because I was hoping for some straight talk about what I was really in for with labor. Hahahahahahaha! I should have been asking her what the c-section was really like since Miss M turned into an emergent c-section instead of the drug-free, possibly agonizing, labor and delivery I had been imagining for 41 weeks.

My brother's oldest boy turning 10 years old makes me realize my own oldest will be 10 in just 7 months. Maybe a long ways away, but when the time goes as quickly as it continues to fly, the day will be here sooner than I am ready. Then it will be gone and I'll be lamenting that she's turning 13, then 16, and then she'll be out on her own. Ten years old, the kids are definitely more than half-way grown.

Every year that passes I love to learn more about who my kids are and who they are becoming. I still miss the babies that they were. I try to mesh the two selves of my kids by telling them the funny and quirky things they said and did when they were smaller. They love to hear the stories and I love their reactions to hearing the stories.

I'm still not certain I won't try to stick them in the freezer one of these days. When they invent the time machine I'm going to have several days and years that I want to revisit.

Simply Joy Sunday #60

I am continuing to try to notice the little things in life that make me smile. Please join me!

Ordinarily, the above scene would not make me smile. It would probably have made my blood boil even 3 months ago. But, the day that Miss D had a blast throwing cereal all around the living room this week? It didn't faze me a bit. She had a great time. I picked it up with a little of her help. We went on with the day and it was wonderful.

I found 3 pairs of jeans for Miss M on clearance. They fit her in the waist fine with the adjustable waistband but were too long for her. I actually got all 3 pairs hemmed while sitting in the car line at school. Go me actually getting something done in a timely fashion!

And the K Man? He paid attention at swimming lessons for a change and swam a few strokes of the front crawl finally. He was very proud of himself and I was happy I had the camera to capture his pride. He also made my heart melt once again when we were at the mall with Amma yesterday. He was bugging her to give him money to play one of the rip-off games they have stationed in the food court area and she grew tired of him asking every 3 seconds so she finally told him that she was too poor to pay for that. He grew very somber and said: "Oh I didn't know that! I have some coins in my bank at home that you can have."

Pretty sure my heart burst wide open with that one. My children are amazing people.

Are you noticing the simple joys of life? Please share them here in the comments or on your own blog. (Link here if you play along on your blog and let me know so I can link you here too.)

Playing along:

Athena's Armoury

Wishing you a week of simple joys.

Another Adventure with Amma

I'll admit when we decided to journey down to Harmony, Minnesota to check out some of the wares of the Amish I was slightly skeptical that my mom would be able to navigate the area successfully. We've had our adventures in the past, which most often lead us to get lost for at least part of the time.

I forgot my camera, which bummed me out. I know I couldn't have taken photos of the Amish, but the trees and the landscape were absolutely gorgeous on the ride.

We ate at a small restaurant in town when we got there, then went on our tour of Amish farms. The first stop was a bakery. These women/girls had baked so many things that morning probably starting before I even got out of bed. And so many things that looked delicious!

As we visited each farm, I had a small part of me that sort of wished for the simplicity of life that they lead. But then I enjoy peeing indoors when it's 40 below...and the blog would probably suffer a bit if I didn't have electricity.

At one farm, a mother and one of her sons came to meet us in her store. M and K started to get a little carried away and I told them to calm down a little. The woman spoke with her German/Scandinavian accent and said "Oh, we're used to that around here. I have 6 boys." And as we were leaving I noticed that she looked like she was expecting. I didn't ask her if she had any girls, but if she didn't I hope this next one is a girl so she has some help with the "women work." The little boy who was with her was 4, just a few months younger than K. We had a small moment of connection. Just mothers, even though we are vastly different.

These are the experiences I want to drink in, live, expose my children to.

And even though Amma was navigating? We didn't get lost (although at one point she tried to tell me I was going the wrong way when the map we had clearly told me the way to go) so hey, an improvement over our last several adventures together.

Heather and Amma's Excellent Adventure

When my mother and I go places together I drive. Mostly it's because my car has the car seats, but also if we're going outside of Rochester my mom generally prefers not to drive. When we are going someplace we have never been before, or have only been there rarely, my mom by default turns into the navigator.

This is not a good thing.

Yesterday we went to the Science Museum of Minnesota but we wanted to eat at Cossetta's (a very, very, very yummy Italian restaurant and marketplace) first. My parents printed out directions from MapQuest, but I looked up the directions myself as well. Note to self: Use your own directions in the future! Love, me.

In the morning I got the big kids ready for school and dropped them off at the front door. It was a little more hectic getting them ready as well as getting ready to take the baby on a day trip (Note to self: put more wipes in the diaper bag so you don't have to pour water to wet them.) but I managed to get them to school on time and managed to pack water and snacks for Ms. D.

We dropped M and K off and headed to pick Amma up at her house. D spent some of that time crying for some unknown reason and I started to rethink the wisdom of the trip. But her discomfort or unease was short-lived as it usually is.

The drive from Rochester to St. Paul was uneventful. I saw my mom's directions and thought of the directions I'd written down and tucked in my purse. Against my better judgement, I left my directions in my purse. Sigh.

Things seemed to be going well until the directions called for a U-turn. What? In my opinion, the only reason for a U-turn is that you missed a turn. Am I right? We drove, we turned, we drove some more. We may or may not have driven down the same street(s) several times. Eventually we made a left turn where we had previously turned right and lo and behold Cossetta's was right there.

We arrived just before the restaurant was open, but the market was open so we stocked up on our essential Italian food needs...er, wants. The plus side of having trouble finding the place (because we are idiots) was that the restaurant was open by the time we finished shopping in the market.

Once the restaurant opened it was a tough decision on what to have for lunch. I opted for mostaccoli and a slice of pizza for D and I. D approved whole-heartedly of the food and the ambiance, dancing in her seat to the stylings of Frank Sinatra et al for most of the meal.

Then it was time to head to the museum, which we had seen approximately 5 times during our quest to find Cossetta's. We found the museum without much difficulty, but the parking proved a bit more difficult. We spied a big arrow that said "parking" but apparently that wasn't enough for me. I drove past the entrance, which if I'm totally honest, was a bit obscured. When we circled around again and I spied the (admittedly) HUGE arrow pointing to the parking garage I had to laugh. When we got inside the ramp I told my mom it was a shame that they didn't have the walkways well-marked (flashing lighted "Pedestrian Walkway" sign anyone?) Apparently I need those for parking ramps too.

We were going to see the Titanic exhibit. It was interesting and sad. We saw the film in the Omnitheater (the only one of it's kind in the U.S.!) and D fussed for the first 5 minutes and slept for the remaining 40 minutes. Amazing footage. I will never comprehend how big that ship was.

The exhibit was sobering as well. We were given boarding passes as we entered and were encouraged to find out our fate at the end. My persona survived, my mom's did not. I cannot fathom the choices these people had to make. I got teary-eyed only a little bit...so, GO ME!

The thing about tragedies that happened so long ago? You're detached. Even to emotional wrecks like me. But I can assure you I thought of those mothers with their kids who were confused and scared and didn't want to leave their husbands. If I read too many of the people profiles I started to get teary again.

The exhibit was fantastic.

Then we had to leave. Honestly, my mother and I have even more issues getting home from the place than we have finding it. This visit was no exception. But we just drove and drove and drove. It was easier not having an hysterical 6 or 7 year old in the car. Eventually we found a familiar highway. And all was good.

And, as usual, an hysterical bit of commentary littered the drive. If my mother and I found our way to and from our destinations easily...well, it wouldn't be as fun.

Do not tell me I look like her (even if I do)

You know how when you're a pre-teen and teen and someone says something like "you look just like your mother" or "oh you're just like your mother" and you shudder a little, then smile uncomfortably and then tell them "thanks a lot" in a not-so-unsarcastic tone?

Yeah?

Well, I never did that.

No. I'm totally lying. I did. But mostly I did because I'm just a sarcastic person. I'm a ton of fun at parties. (See? Sarcasm!)

But as the years have rolled by (cue Amy Grant) I have come to appreciate the gifts my mother has given to me through genetics or parenthood or whatever force it is that makes kids turn out sort of like their parents.

If you look at photos of my mother, then me, then my oldest daughter when we are all about 3 or 4 years old we all look identical. (If you don't notice that we all have different eye colors.) We all have long blond hair. We are all the picture of health. We have fire in our eyes. And now that I'm older, I take it as a compliment when someone says I look like my mother.

My mother has also passed on a love of reading that has passed to my children. I do not remember ever seeing my mother not reading. Even as the television was on, my mom has always had a book in her lap. I used to ask her how she could watch TV and read at the same time. She's always told me she's multi-talented. I fear that my kids do not see me reading as often, but they still love to read.

My mom is quiet and so am I. But we're only quiet if we don't know you well. Once we're comfortable with you (and/or if you're family) then we may seem like different people. My mom has always told me "someone has to listen." We're good listeners, my mom and I.

I'm sure there are more ways we are similar. There are also ways I wish we were more similar. My mom seems to have more patience than I do. My mom rarely yells. My mom sees good things in people that I cannot.

I am lucky to have a mom who is also my friend.

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Are you similar to your mom? Write a blog post about the "things" your mom handed down to you. PBN and Johnson's are giving away a $250 gift card to two lucky bloggers. Johnson's second annual Celebrity Hand Me Down charity auction runs from 7 pm PT on Thursday May 7 through 7 pm PT on Thursday May 14, with proceeds benefiting their charitable giving site Baby Cause.

So Then We Get to IKEA

We decide to eat lunch once we get to IKEA, seeing as it is already one o’clock and my children usually eat lunch closer to 11:30. Whoops!

My mom sits with the baby while I take the older two through the cafeteria line. This is almost always a circus act, because the people who are doing the serving always think I am done ordering after I have ordered two meals so I stand there for an extra 5 minutes waiting for them to acknowledge that YES, I AM STILL HERE. Besides that, the kids can never make up their minds, or M asks for 14 different things when I know she will only eat maybe one of those things. The trick is to figure out which thing she is going to eat today.

So K got chicken strips and fries, I got meatballs and mashed taters and M got mac and cheese and a side of mashed taters. D eats a bunch of my mashed potatoes. M eats her macaroni, a few bites of mashed potatoes and 2 of my meatballs. K eats one bite of his chicken and a few fries before he declares he is done and, shockingly, has to pee.

I take him to the bathroom, where we both use it, then wash our hands. We discover the “car wash” style hand dryers and agree they are quite awesome. I’m surprised K does not declare he has to pee again for the rest of the time there just so he can use the hand dryer again.

The kids want to play in the Smaland play area. I also want them to play in there. We stand and wait 20 minutes. Well, I stand. M more or less stands too. K pretty much jumps and climbs on every surface in the area and my blood pressure rises accordingly. Once they are finally admitted to the playroom my mom, Baby D and I run for it.

The hour the kids are there passes serenely. It is beautiful. I want to marry it.

Once out of their cage play land, they immediately start fighting over who gets to push the cart. My mom and I tell them they have to take turns and M goes first. K cannot leave her alone so this is clearly not the best solution. Once it is his turn to push he runs into two people and nearly runs into two displays. Of glass. So his turn is cut short. He protests loudly.

Grandma appeases him by offering to buy him a desk lamp. He is happy for a few minutes.

As we approach the checkout, K starts tossing the lamp in the air and catching it.

You’re going to break it Bud.

Toss. Crack. Broken.

No light for K. A major meltdown ensues. I need Jo Frost to stand there and tell people “it’s just a kid having a meltdown, carry on” like she does on SuperNanny and then roll her eyes back at those people.

I WANT MY LIGHT! I WANT MY LIGHT! I WANT MY LIGHT! I WANT MY LIGHT!

So, how are you today? the smartass friendly cashier asks.

Oh just WONDERFUL, I reply.

I drag my son through the line to where my mom and M are waiting. I tell my mom of my fantasy of leaving him there.

She, instead, picks him up and carries him out of the store. He immediately stops screaming when she does this and I realize the boy is supremely tired. I start to realize that I am not feeling the greatest either.

I wonder why I ever attempt to do things like this.

Our Impromptu Tour of the Twin Cities

My Mom and I took the three kids to the Target Center and IKEA last Friday. I needed to exchange some vouchers I’d received for free tickets to a kids’ show coming up, hence the trip to the Target Center.

We decided to go to the Target Center first to get that out of the way before we went to IKEA. The trip there was relatively uneventful. I had bought a bag of pseudo popcorn for the kids to eat on the way up so they were happily munching on that and listening to their CD players.

One, two, three, we’re in the parking ramp. Four, five, six, we’ve found a parking spot.

We notice a large construction project outside of the ramp that looks like a big amphitheater or arena or something and realize it’s the new Twins stadium. K announces he has to pee. We have no idea where a bathroom is.

So we start walking toward the skyways and follow the signs to the Target Center box office. K reminds us that he has to pee every 3 minutes or more often. I’ve kind of blocked out that part. There are no bathrooms along the way from the ramp to the box office. I think I see a sign for a bathroom but apparently it is just there to tease mothers with sons who have peanut-sized bladders.

Since we are at the box office, I get the tickets and am amazed at how courteous service people are in the Cities. Not at all the generally gruff, grouchy people I routinely deal with in Rochester.

K still has to pee.

We head back up the skyway and take a left where we would have taken a right to go back to the car. M points this out, to which I remind her that her brother has to pee.

Pee pit stop accomplished; we head back to the car. I attempt to take a photo of the stadium through the glass in the skyway instead of through the bars in the ramp but my camera doesn’t have any more space for photos and I discover I don’t know how to delete photos. Fun! I love it when I learn something new that I don’t know.

So we get everyone loaded back in the car, pay, and turn out of the ramp. There is construction right outside the ramp, which throws me for a loop, and I ask my mom for her opinion on where we should go to get back to IKEA. She suggests that I get on I94, which, in retrospect, was not the best idea.

However I didn’t know where to go and my mom thought that I94 would hook up with 494, which is what we really wanted to be on. (For the record, it doesn’t.) We drive for a while and soon realize we are in St. Paul (nowhere near where we wanted to be). We continue driving, turning randomly and finding ourselves driving by the University of Minnesota Campus, the State Fairgrounds, miscellaneous other landmarks. My mom is enjoying looking at the old houses. M is in the back seat crying because we’re lost and that’s what she does when her mother gets lost in the Cities. K is talking nonstop about who knows what and it is like a little loud mosquito buzzing in my ear as I’m trying to figure out a way back to the damned Big Blue Store.

I tell my mom to get the map out of the glove box and she does. When I comment about a street we’re passing she starts to fold the map back up. Uh. Why are you putting the map away?

Oh I thought you knew where we were.

No, just telling you what streets we were passing so you could look on the map.

Doh! So she gets the map back out and after several discussions we finally find 35W, which connects to 494, and we arrive at IKEA. M stops crying as soon as she sees the airport, which is right near IKEA, and instead starts extolling the wonderful navigation skills of her grandmother (who, I will remind you, got us lost to begin with).

Good times.

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Aweigh post below.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Don't take it from me

Sometimes I think it would have been easier to raise my kids if we had lived in an earlier time. In many ways things have gotten easier: automatic washing machines, microwave ovens, garage door openers, and the like. In other ways things are harder: questionable television shows, television available all the time, having to strap kids into car seats (while safer, makes for a loooong car ride when kids can't move about the vehicle like we used to as kids), sex as sales tool, drugs, I need to stop thinking about this before I get upset!

The modern convenience I would miss most, however, is the digital camera.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I told my husband that I thought we should get a digital camera. They were outrageously expensive then, and the quality of the photos was poor compared to now, but still I'm so glad we got one.

I love to take photos and I take them by the thousands. I'm of the mind that you need to take many, many photos in order to get just a few really great ones. But more than that, I just love being able to take many photos of my children, to take note of what they look like at each stage of their lives. Gone are the days of the third child having no photos taken simply because they had the bad luck of being born third. Now, I can take as many photos as I want and not have to worry about the expense of developing, or "wasting" film on "bad" shots.

There is a greater chance then, that I get a great one.

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This post was written in response to the Parent Bloggers Network and Yoplait's question "what modern conveniences could you not live without?"

The big pregnant lazy post

I had visions of this wonderful, heartfelt, sappy mother's day post that I was going to write, but it turns out I'm just a big lazy pregnant lady who doesn't have a lot of beautiful words coming to mind right about now.

Yesterday my mom, M and I went to a mother-daughter luncheon at our church. It was pretty nice for the time that we were able to stay. It turned out to run a little longer than I thought it would and I'd rsvp'd for M to go to a friend's birthday party so we had to leave early. I guess I should have said no to the birthday party, but my preggo brain thought that she'd have time to do both.

Craig took to yelling at my belly yesterday "get out of there!" So I guess he thinks I'm having a little too much preggo brain too.

Today is the big mother-child song performance at our church. Should be interesting to see the blubbering pregnant lady trying to sing with her daughter. Oh, wait. That would be me. I think my relatives are going to show up just to see the spectacle I'll probably make of myself. Good times.

This babe has stayed in long enough for me to get pregnant lady portraits taken with my kids, so now she can come out any time.

Do you think I could mention that I'm pregnant a few more times?

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, but especially to mine. I'm lucky to have a mom that I can call a friend too.

Another trip around the sun

Truth be told, I had my last birthday a few years back. You're not supposed to have any more birthdays after 29, right? Let's just say I've made another trip around the sun.



I'll be spending the day much like any other day. Which is actually just fine. I don't need a lot of attention drawn to the fact that I'm getting older. Not that I mind the number, it's not actually that big. Besides, I don't feel any older than I did, say, 8 years ago. Well, if you don't take into account that I'm big and pregnant and not taking the pregnancy as easily as I did just 4 years ago. (But hey there's only 3 weeks left and I've only gained 10.3 pounds. Go me!)



After I pick the kids up from school I'm planning on making this yummy-sounding pie that I saw Mr. Food make a few weeks ago. Then the kids will eat some for dessert when I am not there. Because that's the kind of mom I am. I go out to eat on my birthday without my family.



Okay, one of the people I'm going out to eat with is my Mom. So, it's actually sort of appropriate n'est-ce pas?



Do you suppose she still looks at me and sees this?

Happy Birthday Mom

You don't look a day over 32.