My mom sits with the baby while I take the older two through the cafeteria line. This is almost always a circus act, because the people who are doing the serving always think I am done ordering after I have ordered two meals so I stand there for an extra 5 minutes waiting for them to acknowledge that YES, I AM STILL HERE. Besides that, the kids can never make up their minds, or M asks for 14 different things when I know she will only eat maybe one of those things. The trick is to figure out which thing she is going to eat today.
So K got chicken strips and fries, I got meatballs and mashed taters and M got mac and cheese and a side of mashed taters. D eats a bunch of my mashed potatoes. M eats her macaroni, a few bites of mashed potatoes and 2 of my meatballs. K eats one bite of his chicken and a few fries before he declares he is done and, shockingly, has to pee.
I take him to the bathroom, where we both use it, then wash our hands. We discover the “car wash” style hand dryers and agree they are quite awesome. I’m surprised K does not declare he has to pee again for the rest of the time there just so he can use the hand dryer again.
The kids want to play in the Smaland play area. I also want them to play in there. We stand and wait 20 minutes. Well, I stand. M more or less stands too. K pretty much jumps and climbs on every surface in the area and my blood pressure rises accordingly. Once they are finally admitted to the playroom my mom, Baby D and I run for it.
The hour the kids are there passes serenely. It is beautiful. I want to marry it.
Once out of their
Grandma appeases him by offering to buy him a desk lamp. He is happy for a few minutes.
As we approach the checkout, K starts tossing the lamp in the air and catching it.
You’re going to break it Bud.
Toss. Crack. Broken.
No light for K. A major meltdown ensues. I need Jo Frost to stand there and tell people “it’s just a kid having a meltdown, carry on” like she does on SuperNanny and then roll her eyes back at those people.
I WANT MY LIGHT! I WANT MY LIGHT! I WANT MY LIGHT! I WANT MY LIGHT!
So, how are you today? the
Oh just WONDERFUL, I reply.
I drag my son through the line to where my mom and M are waiting. I tell my mom of my fantasy of leaving him there.
She, instead, picks him up and carries him out of the store. He immediately stops screaming when she does this and I realize the boy is supremely tired. I start to realize that I am not feeling the greatest either.
I wonder why I ever attempt to do things like this.
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It would be nice to have Jo Frost with you everywhere you go, I've had a couple of the kids I work with have temper tantrums in public or else they are just really hyper, and I always catch some people rolling their eyes at me I'm sure those people have or had kids that were perfect little angels! haha!
I don't know how you do it. Honestly, I don't. You must have the patience of a thousand saints!
Sometimes I feel like taping a huge sign to my back that reads, "He's just having a meltdown. Cut me some slack."
Holy smokes that is an adventure. I hate gawkers. I so give the empathetic smile then look away.
We have no choice...we HAVE to take them out of the house...or we would never leave....and I think it's a bit like childbirth...you never really remember HOW bad it was...until your in the middle of it AGAIN!!
Aw. Too bad it didn't go well. Did you at least reward yourself with some of the IKEA cinnamon rolls to take home?
I'd love to try out Smaaland or however you spell it because Fly just goes nuts in the store, but I think kids have to be potty trained in order to play there. Bummer.
You're a trooper for that kind of day's adventures! I've never been to an Ikea, but I get the feeling I'd be in meltdown mode by the time I arrived!
;)
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