The Long Walk Home

In college I did my fair share of partying. Most people who meet me now would probably laugh about that. Shoot, half the people that knew me then would laugh as well. I'm socially awkward but get a drink in me and wheeeeee!

My partner in crime was my BFF, Rachel, whom I'd met when we both worked at a shoe store in town while we were attending junior college (community college, whatever you want to call it!). Rachel and I got along famously once we got to know each other. I'm hard to get to know, so I have to respect and appreciate anyone who takes the time and puts in the effort to really know ME.

To this day, she knows things about me only one other person does (my husband).

Rachel and I hit the bars for entertainment in college. One weekend we were visiting Rochester and decided to go to the big dance club in the city. We were big into dancing in college, though it was mostly country two-stepping and 16-stepping and the like that we did. For a change of pace, we went to a different type of club.

This bar was known as the "meat-market" and probably for good reason. Rachel and I had no plans to find men however. We went to places like this just to shake it and have a good time. In fact, we were so NOT into finding guys we usually dressed in baggy jeans and flannel shirts. It's possible our indifference was attractive. We almost always had guys buying us drinks whenever we went out.

This night we happened to run into a guy that I'd met when we worked together. I never particularly liked him but I thought he was attractive in an odd sort of way. I tried to set aside my distaste for him to see if I could get to know him better and discover a pleasant person beneath the exterior.

He and his friends bought us a drink or two and by the end of the night offered us a ride home. I no longer remember why we didn't have a ride that night. It's possible we were with a third "friend" who was often jealous of the attention Rachel and I received (She'd have the last laugh now if she saw me) left without us out of anger when she was out driver. Whatever it was, we took the ride offered by J and his friend.

Rachel and I climbed into the back seat while the boys rode in the front seats. It went well until the boys decided to go to McDonald's on the way to taking us to Rachel's apartment. Things went south quickly when, instead of holding the door for me, one of the boys slammed the door on my foot as I was trying to step out.

The guy who tried to chop my foot off was not remorseful of apologetic at all. I was young enough that I could be pissed off on principal. I refused to get back in the car.

I pretty much made my BFF walk home several miles because my pride was hurt. This is how I know my BFF is my BFF. She sticks by me even when I'm a jerk.

I'm guessing our walk home took at least an hour if not more. But we did it together and she stuck by me even in my irrational moments. That's why I love her still.

Simply Joy Sunday #32

Some of the best things in life are simple joys, the little things that make us happy. I'm celebrating these little things every Sunday. Join me!

Yesterday, Miss M, Baby D, my mom and I drove to an outlet mall in a nearby town to meet my best friend from college, Rachel and her kids. We haven't gotten together for more than a year, but we are very similar in personality (although she smiles a lot more than I do). We always fall back into our comfortable friendship easily.

We happened to catch the outlet mall on a weekend of a big sidewalk sale. Bargains, bargains, bargains! I tend to like the clothes that are as close to free as possible. Frugal or cheap? Heck, I don't care! I bought a ton of clothes for the kids and didn't spend more than $5 for any piece. The majority of stuff I spent only $2.99 per item. Finding great deals makes me happy.

(On a similar note, I went to a few yard sales on Friday and got some stamps for card making for only 50 cents a stamp. THAT also made me deliriously happy.)

I even bought myself some new running shoes. Perhaps that will motivate me to keep at the running. Maybe I can even venture outside to run in the real world. Wouldn't that be something?

A fantastic photo of my friend and almost all of our kids. I'm bummed K Man wasn't there for the photo, but he had a great time at home with his dad.

Another joy? I look somewhat decent in this photo. I strategically placed myself behind my godson and he made me look much, much slimmer than I am. I knew he was a great kid. (And when did he grow so big to almost be as tall as I am? I remember changing his diapers and chasing him around my house. He's a handsome boy though, isn't he?)

What are your simple joys this week? If you're playing along on your blog let me know (and link here!) and I'll round up the posts here!

Feeling the Joy!

Athena's Armory

Mrs. Dragon

P.S. Congrats to Megan at Velveteen Mind for winning the copy of I'm Proud of You.

Friends

About a year ago, I wrote a very whiny post about not having any friends. It was a lie of sorts, because I regularly had contact with women who could technically be considered friends. However, my "friend" standard hadn't really been met at the time.

I'm so lucky to be able to say that I have friends now. I'm not going to identify them online, but I'm sure they know who they are.

These women have saved my sanity more often than they know. Now, our kids will be off to Kindergarten (mine, already...others in September...others will be schooled at home). I fear that we will lose touch and that our parenting and friend bonds will fade.

I picked up the August 2007 issue of Better Homes and Gardens at the dollar store (Love getting magazines there!) and found and article about "healing friendships" that resonated with me.

The article has the statistics (we all know that you can find a statistic for almost anything can't we?) that made me so happy to be able to say I have friends.

One landmark study of nearly 7000 residents in Alameda County, California, found that women who spent time with friends five or more times a month were less likely to die over the nine-year-follow-up period of the study. A second study, conducted at Mercy Medical Center in Maryland, revealed that men and women who had at least 10 friends were half as likely to have health challenges and disabilities that interfered with their daily lives as those who had only two friends.

I'm not sure that I have 10 friends, but I'm infinitely grateful for the 5 (in real life) that I feel like I can call for anything, anytime, and if they can possibly help me they will.

The article in BHG also had a sidebar about The New Backyard Fence. It related the reality of the Internet as a new connection mechanism. It told of the number of people who felt "very close" (23) to someone online and the number who felt "somewhat close" (27) to someone online. Seriously, the blogosphere and miscellaneous bulletin boards really do become "friends" to many. I'd say that I have several online "friends" that I have never met in real life. The best part of this sidebar gave me hope. What's more, instead of the popular image of a lonely person hunkered down in front of a screen, the Pew study found that those who make contact online are 50 percent more likely to have in-person contacts as well, than those who never touch a computer. Computers, it seems, are simply another way to make even more friends.

I'm convinced that this is the phenomenon that is keeping Rachael at Life with Hannah and Lily going. She has hundreds of new online friends to join her real friends to help her through her nightmare.

My friends have helped me in ways that they don't know. I'm sure that they don't. I can only hope that I have helped in the same way.

From the article again: "Our biology likes positive relationships," says psychologist Teresa Seeman, Ph.D., associate chief of geriatric research at the UCLA School of Medicine. "We're still trying to unravel why this happens. Among younger adults, [younger is not quantified in the story] it's the spouse who seems to have the biggest effect. But as you age, that doesn't seem to be as true. It's your friends."

I think I'll try to maintain all relationships, just to be safe. And because I rather like my husband...and my friends.

I have to say thank you to my husband AND all my friends, whether in real life or online. You've added much color to my life, and it is much-appreciated.

Party Over...oops Out of time!

I'm officially done hosting children's birthday parties until next July.

Whew!

I think the party went well, but since I didn't sit down until about 3 o'clock besides to help M open presents (i.e. read cards and make sure we know who gave what) I really don't know what went on for most of the party. Such is life when you're hosting a party. Can't talk to anyone and can't eat. I ate one tiny sandwich and two bites of veggie salad. But I didn't really feel hungry. I guess I was fueled by hostess duty.

I'm told the cheesy spinach dip was wonderful, and apparently everything else was also okay because it is all GONE. (I was also told that the table set-up was cuter in person...which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.)

After we ate lunch the kids got their suits on and played. Here is a small portion of the motley crew we hosted:

We let them play for a while then corralled them for cake and ice cream.

My sister-in-law saw the bounty of cake on the counter and asked me if I'd been busy by any chance.

Honestly, a lot of beer and telling the kids if they don't play nice there will be NO party! Clearly, I have issues. But aren't they cute?

The kids were given a ton of wonderful presents that they were enjoying until 8:30 tonight (waaaay past their bedtime). They really love all the presents they received, to the point that they didn't know what to try out first, second, and tenth.

We may need an addition on the house. (ha ha....Ha?)

Besides the birthday festivities, it was great to see my fab friend Rachel and her kids (including my Godson, Nikolas). She is Cletus to my Roscoe. (Bonus points if you know where the names come from.)

Craig's best buddy, Dana, also came to the party. Dana was Craig's Best Man in our wedding, and really is one of the best men I know. He came because M really wanted him to come. What M wants, M gets. Well, sometimes.

K is probably dreaming train dreams tonight. He received some new Thomas the Train things that he loves, and also received some GeoTrax which he has been coveting at his friends Alex and Owen's house for at least a year. He also received two different motorized vehicles, one small, that has a retractable top that really fascinated him, the other a big Escalade that has buttons on top to command it to go where you want it to. "Right turn" and the blinkers turn on as the car turns right. Very fancy. I think some of the adults were pretending indifference, then, when K wasn't paying attention, they'd play with it a bit.

M was given a new Polly Pocket playset that she thinks is the greatest thing ever since it's a swimming pool with a diving board (that's my "fish" kid here). Plus her Amma and Boppa gave her (among other things) a bubble dancer thing that she can launch into the air that she tells Craig she wants every time she sees it on T.V. My Aunt Kay gave M some play dishes and food that M immediately used in the pool to have a pool tea party. And Kay gave her a little porcelain doll wearing a purple dress that M wouldn't put down for quite a while after she opened it. M also really loves her little Peter Pan. It's a stuffed dog in a purse, a la Paris Hilton with Tinkerbell, but M's dog was a boy (how that was determined is beyond me...and isn't Paris's Tinkerbell a boy too?) so my cousin Chelsea suggested Peter Pan as a name and it has stuck.

I mention only a few things, but honestly, the kids really loved everything they were given. Thank goodness they are pretty gracious about receiving gifts as well. It's not an act, they both are so excited when they are given gifts...no matter what it is.

The party est...

FINI.

Visiting a friend...

Yesterday I drove with my children about an hour or so to meet my best friend from college. We don't get together as often as we should since we are seriously twins that must have been seperated at birth or something, but that's another story.

I placated my children with teddy grahams for the oh, 10 minutes we had to wait at the meeting site. To my kids, an eternity, but not long really...

We shopped, ate at Famous Daves, and shopped a bit more. I miss my friend, but you know, it can be a year (and it probably was) but we still fall back into the old friendship.

Her youngest (by 7 years or so) was with her. And she's beautiful just like her mom and her older sister. (their brother is handsome, but like their daddy.) She'll be 1 year on January 2, and is only about 19 lbs. I laugh since she is using my kids' baby carseat and both of my kids were out of it by 4 months. (The carseat is in the background.) Destructo Boy? Yeah. 20 lbs at 4 months.

We stopped to visit Daddy at work in Dodge Center. Miss M wanted to see the windmills, so after getting Cheetos and Twizzlers at Daddy's office we went to look at the windmills. M wanted me to take photos...so here's one:

M was coughing today so she missed preschool and we "planned" to skip choir practice as well but when we got there to drop off teacher "thank you/Christmas presents" she noticed the balloons and presents in the choir room and was suddenly completely healthy again.

Just the standard colds for MN I suppose. K insists: I sick too Mama, medicine!