The Beginning and the End

Amazing.

School Haiku

It is the last day
I have a Kindergartner
and second-grader.

If these kids don't stop
growing up so darned all fast
I may have to cry.

Hate Not, Hate Yes?

I try to not hate. I don’t hate people, for example. I may not like some of the things that people do, but I don’t hate the person. Well, I might feel a twinge of hate at that anonymous person in the car that just cut me off, or the person who nearly caused harm to my family, but in general, I try to not hate.

That said, I do hate some things. I hate green peppers. I hate racism, sexism, all of those isms. I hate when I break things. I hate it that I can’t sleep at night. I hate when my family is sick or hurting. I hate that I’m fat. I hate that I get frustrated.

Hate is a strong emotion. Hate has its place.

At my oldest daughter’s school conference I had an inkling that her school hates the word hate. Later, I asked her and K-Man about it.

Are you allowed to say hate at school?

(Both kids) Oh no! Hate is a bad word!

Is it? I find this a little odd. Curse words are probably bad. No, not bad, inappropriate. What are “bad” words? There are some. I won’t write them here because they ARE bad. Racial slurs. Those are bad. What else? Cancer. Cancer is a bad word when a doctor tells you that you or a family member has it.

Is hate a bad word? Am I bad for hating things? I don’t think so.

So, you’re not allowed to say, “I hate broccoli? What happens if you say that?

Oh! We’d get a detention.

Hmmm. I let the conversation trail off because I was a little taken aback. Apparently my kids are not allowed to express strong dislike for things. I can see the reasoning of not allowing kids to say they hate another person. I think that mostly people don’t REALLY hate one another (not talking globally and religiously and all of those very deep-seated biases) but just day-to-day interactions I don’t think people truly hate one another. Ignorance is a whole different thing.

But. I’m hearing that my kids can’t say I hate it when my friends tease me. They can’t say I hate feeling sick. I hate being scared when a storm rolls through. I hate doing homework when I’d rather play.

These are all valid emotions and expressions.

I hate that they are not allowed to express them at school.

Condemned No More

My son's room has been a disaster area for weeks. We clean it periodically but it quickly descends into chaos within days. I don't know how one little boy can create such mess...except I remember a certain mother having a very messy room as a kid. And um, my crap is all over the house. I need to clean my own stuff too.

BUT! I started with K's room. Here are the before photos. Now that I look at these photos they do not accurately reflect the squalor that he was living in. It's sort of pissing me off that the photos don't show how truly disgusting his room was.

Anywho! I bought a Cubicle from Tarjay Boutique (on sale for $36 this week!) I love these shelves. I will likely need 1 or 3 more when our addition is finished for the kids' and Craig's and my bedrooms.

I spent about an hour putting the shelf together while Ms. D napped in the morning. I screwed up with the wrong piece at first (thanks for not labeling the pieces ClosetMaid) but after I realized my mistake the piece went together rather quickly.

I lugged the shelf up the stairs, then D and I ate lunch. D needed a nap and she started to fight it so I actually put her in her crib. (Even though I love to savor my babies.) She slept for two hours, during which I cleaned K's room:

Sigh. Like I said it doesn't look much different in the photos. BUT! It took me TWO HOURS to clean it. And I was sweating profusely. Also? During the clean out I discovered:

3 Target shopping bags full of garbage

12 empty boxes; mostly boxes toys came in from JULY birthday.

3 empty Target plastic bags. Purpose? Unknown.

6 pairs of dirty socks. Not in pairs. Oh no.

8 soiled-in-some-way sets of underwear. Some stashed in places that I wonder how long they have been there.

FYI--Having a boy is FUN!

Also? My son is totally just like his mother. ::ducking head:: Sorry KMan for passing on all the craptastic things that are me.

Anywho! 2 hours of cleaning nets the above. (and WHY does it not look that different?)

Adventures in Volunteering and Eating With the Little People

This week is Quarry Hill week at the big kids' school. Quarry Hill is the local nature center, built on the grounds of a former state hospital. There is an old limestone quarry, hiking paths, a pond, an old fireplace and a man-made sandstone cave.

The cave used to be open and as a kid I remember playing in and around the caves. Since then, two of the cave entrances have been closed off and the third entrance now has an iron gate blocking the door. The only way you can get into the cave these days is with an employee of Quarry Hill.

The cave is often the highlight of Quarry Hill week for the kids. I volunteered to chaperone M's kindergarten class one day and was disappointed that they were not going to the cave that day. I haven't been in the cave since I was a kid. Last year I didn't volunteer for Quarry Hill week at all.

This year I volunteered two days. The first day I went with M's 2nd grade class and the second day I volunteered with K's kindergarten class. By some sort of luck, I was able to go to the cave with BOTH classes.

The second graders were excited as we neared the cave and had to be reminded several times to quiet down. The kids had to pair up and share a flashlight that will be transferred to the other partner half-way through the cave tour. We looked at crickets and learned how to tell that a cricket is a female cricket. We noticed the cave was 60 degrees. I was relieved to learn that there are no bats in the cave in the summer time...they only use the cave in the winter.

Somewhere along the way I inherited another friend, another little girl claimed my other hand for the last half of our time at Quarry Hill. M on one side, A on the other.

When I went with K's class, the kindergartners were just as excited until one kid planted the seed that he was nervous about being in the cave. Then suddenly the whole class was filled with worry. The only thing that brought them out of their funk? The mention of a secret passage. Ooooo. It really is just a hole in the wall of one of the cave's rooms, but the kids thought it sounded exciting. Then we all walked through it and a few of them felt cheated and wondered where the secret passageway was.

I gained another little friend in K's class as well. I must look friendly or something. Boy, do those kids have me all wrong. I guess M and K haven't told them about my mommy fits.

I ate lunch at school with each of them on the days that I volunteered. Surprisingly, I had to open more things for the second graders than I did for the kindergartners, but the second graders all have known me for going on three years now so maybe they just felt more comfortable. Both lunch sessions included a few questions about the notes that I write and put in the kids' lunch boxes almost every day. One girl in M's grade looked at me and said "my mom only puts a note in my lunchbox on Valentine's Day." I felt a little sad for her and happy for Miss M. They do care and they are proud of those notes. Apparently the other kids are a little jealous.

Hey, it's a little thing, but at least I'm doing something right!

School Progress Report: Sleep=0

Two and a half weeks into the school year and the kids are tired. Even when they get in bed at an early hour, they fight sleep. (I wonder where they get that from? ::whistling::) M had been playing her Game Boy, as it turns out, until the battery died. I haven't charged it again. I'm guessing she's moved on to her MP3 player but that, at least, tends to soothe her to slumber. K is less subtle in his avoidance. Just last night I heard the tell-tale sounds of a tape dispenser. Opening his door I discovered K with the light on and a full-on craft project going...TWO HOURS after he'd been tucked into bed. I'd like to encourage K to lay in bed and listen to his MP3 player to soothe him to sleep as well, but he lost his player sometime on our trip to the Mall of America some weeks ago. (That player was a lifesaver in many ways. I've ordered a new one for him just to save my own sanity. I know, I shouldn't since he lost it, but hey, I'll do things my own wrong way.)

They seem to be holding it together at school. I haven't had any bad reports from the teachers and have even heard some positive remarks. But once that afternoon bell rings they can no longer control themselves. They are over-emotional, they whine, they fight, they whine some more. I'm trying to remain zen and understanding, but I really hope they turn the corner and get adjusted to the routine soon.

There are glimmers of hope, however. Miss M has taken upon herself on occasion to pick up Ms. D's toys without being asked. She has done her homework every day without complaint. K Man has asked M to read him books instead of fighting. Last night they were planning an elaborate theater production in which their cousins are supposed to appear as actors as well.

After 2 years of taking M to school, I've adjusted to her being gone during the day. Now my mind needs to catch up to the fact that K is gone to school during the day too. Yesterday, waiting for the school bell to ring, it struck me how quiet the car was and I thought K must have fallen asleep. Except he hadn't because he's a big Kindergartner now.

So we continue, K waking too early, me waking Miss M as late as I dare. I pack two lunches, make three breakfasts and load my children into the car every weekday morning. This is our routine now, at least until October when they will have a three-week break from school. We already have plans to fill those weeks with what I hope to be fun with much less fighting than we've seen in recent months.

I'll brainstorm ideas to get the kids to sleep more, and better. A rested kid learns better and behaves better. I know they can do it.

Short of Breath

She was fine when she fell asleep, early, though she was snoring loudly. The snoring wasn't completely unusual though. When she's particularly tired after a long day, she snores. The snores that night may have been a little louder than usual, but I assumed she was just extra exhausted.


I think it was the commotion upstairs that woke her. K has been doing great at school, but when he gets home he's wiped out from following directions all day. I remember M being extremely tired the first few weeks of Kindergarten too. The tiredness manifests in whining and crying and insistence that he is not tired. He doesn't even know what he's saying half the time I don't think. So when he woke D up he was lobbying for a book even though he'd already stayed up later than he should have. He had his heart set on the book and his heart was breaking. The only thing to do at that point is usually give him what he wants in wish form. ("You wish you could read a book! I know! That would be great wouldn't it? But it's bedtime now!") D was up and crying. While I tried to comfort K Man I noticed her breathing. Craig noticed it too.


She was wheezing (but really it was stridor, not wheezing). Her cries sounded hoarse. Her voice reminded me of when I was hospitalized with mono as a teen. The doctor had called my speech "hot potato speech" because my glands were so swollen in my neck that it sounded like I had a hot potato in my mouth. We got K calmed and in bed and took D back downstairs.


Craig and I listened to D with increasing alarm. She cried and seemed to be struggling to get air. The noise came on the inhale though. We tried to look in her throat to see if her tonsils were swollen, but that was a lost cause. I saw her chest heaving. Craig said he didn't like how she sounded. I told him I was taking her to the ER.

I drove with the radio turned down so I could hear her. I didn't know if she would continue to struggle for breath or even stop breathing. She seemed slightly better as we approached the hospital. The surface parking lot for the ER was full so I had to park in the underground ramp. It took several minutes longer for me to reach the ER. D was bright-eyed and still breathing noisily, but seemed happy nonetheless.

We only sat in the waiting room for a minute before we were called to take D's temp, weight, etc., then we were placed in a room.

We saw a total of 3 doctors. It's a teaching hospital, so first up we had the student doctor. He looked about 12 and had a nervous stutter. He was respectful and listened. He was a little clueless.

Then his supervisor, a resident, came in to make his assessment. He was also pleasant (and taken with Ms. D's cuteness) but sort of made me feel that I was an overprotective nervous mother who brought her child in for a common cold. But before he discharged D, he needed the staff doctor to sign off.

Both men had used a stethoscope to listen to D's lungs. She tolerated this for only a few breaths then would grab the end of the stethoscope and try to fling it back at the doctor. I laughed every time. I think I have another girl who knows her own mind and is not going to take anything laying down.

The staff doctor entered and sort of cooed at D. Then he looked at me and remembered himself "Did I introduce myself?" I couldn't remember. "I think I forgot to introduce myself. I got distracted by this cute little one." (I think he was referring to the baby.) By this time we'd been at the ER for 2 hours. D's breathing had steadily improved as we waited for each new doctor. "She sounds great right now," the staff doctor said. So I figured I was going to get another lecture, the gist of which would be that I was overreacting.

But that wasn't the case. He asked me to describe what had happened at home again. He asked when the noise occurred (inhale or exhale or both). He asked if she sounded hoarse. He asked if she'd been coughing (no) if she'd had a cold (no) and if she'd been sick at all recently (no). Even with my "no" responses to these questions the doctor determined she had croup. (Which never occurred to me since she was not coughing.) He said given the fact that she seemed to get better in the car on the way to the ER, and still improved in the cool environment of the ER, and given the fact that the noise occurred on the inhales rather than the exhales (which would indicate asthma) that it was croup. We decided to give her an oral steroid to decrease the swelling in her throat (hence the hoarseness). He said the steroid wouldn't help that night but would help the next night. (and it did)

So. Croup. Without a barking cough. And thank goodness it wasn't something more serious. I can tell you it is a very scary thing when you see your 14-month-old struggling for air. I can also tell you it is a relief to know that she is okay.

Random Thoughts #36

1. We visited my in-laws last weekend. Friday noon through Sunday 10 in the morning. M and K continued to fight even at their grandparents' house. I chased after the baby nearly the whole time and while I wish that I'd lost about 5 pounds in the process I think my eating the whole bag of Gardettos negated any weight loss.
2. We didn't eat roast or corn or mashed potatoes while we were there. I'm scared for the health of my mother-in-law. In fact, we didn't even eat pizza on Friday night and that is just wrong.
3. I'm fairly certain I'm coming up on (or in) the cranky time that :::shhhh::: we will not talk about. Step lightly my friends.
4. #3 means I'm feeling all sad and sentimental and also wondering why my blog readership/following is so low. So I get all sad and bummed and think I suck.
5. My two older children will be starting school next Wednesday and Thursday. I'm both sad and excited. Excited because I want to start working out again regularly and also because they have been fighting nonstop. I'm sad because. Because.
6. I want very much to enjoy these last few days with all of my children home with me. I'm pretty sure my two older kids will make me want to eat them.
7. Do I have anger issues? I might. I should seek help.
8. There were at least 2 awkward moments while I was visiting my in-laws. Let's just say that my eyes may never be the same again.
9. Also? If you think you need new underwear? You probably do.
10. I may, or may not have just vomited a little in my mouth.
11. On the bright side, it was fun showing and teaching the grandparents how to use the Wii. Maybe they will buy one and play games together instead of grouching at one another. :::swooo::: (sound of my holding my breath)
12. The baby's fingernails are pretty much drug-length at this point. I don't think she has a habit, but she certainly wails when we try to trim her nails.
13. I hope to someday soon find another stay-at-home-mom who wants to be my friend and do things together regularly.
14. I sound pathetic.
15. Hi! I'm Heather and I'm pathetic. Also? A little socially stunted.
16. I would be a wreck at BlogHer.
17. I'm still a little sad I won't be there.
18. Gah! I still have to prepare a big birthday party for 2 of my kids.
19. Not that I'm worried or anything. ::looking around anxiously::
20. My hair still sucks, but perhaps in a couple of weeks I will have time to get it done. ....Sob! In a couple of weeks I might have time to get my hair done because two of my kids will be in elementary school. Oh man.

Edited to add: Wow! Depressing much? This was intended as light-hearted but when I reread it now I sound a little like I should be on suicide watch. Also? #2 where I say I'm worried about my MIL's health? THAT too was sort of a joke because she usually fixes roast beef, mashed pototoes and corn every time we visit. I thought she might be feeling a little off that she didn't fix it. I know, bad joke.

Frustrated and Failing

I'm frustrated.

These summer days, fleeting for all of us in Minnesota, pass even more quickly for our family now that we have our kids enrolled in the "year round" school. Those three-week breaks during the school year are wonderful. It gives me time to take my kids to the zoo, to bake cookies, to do all the things we wouldn't get to do if they were in school. But the start of school comes so soon. Summer is stripped to six short weeks for us. It passes before I know what's happened.

I have plans of adventures I'd like to go on. And we would go on them. We would. I'd go a place a day if I had to to fit it all in. But my kids can't handle it.

I'm frustrated because I want us to have a ton of fun these last days before school starts but instead my children are fighting and sassing and I'm responding by yelling and saying things I shouldn't say.

I don't know how to fix it, how to reclaim the fun and spontaneity of summer. I don't know how to get out of this grouchy, yelly funk. This is not how I thought summer would be this year.

Soon I'll be home with only Ms. D. While I was pregnant with her, I experienced life with only one child at home again, but it was as a tired, rotund, lazy pregnant woman. I don't know what I'll do with just the baby at home. Probably a lot less than I'd like to do! I think I squandered the days when M and K were both at home and could play together. I should have gotten a lot done.

But for now, they are home together and cannot get along for more than one hour at a time. There has been hitting, kicking, wrestling...even biting. They are tired. No. Exhausted. But we get them into bed early and they fight sleep tooth and nail, getting out of bed with excuse after excuse...or no excuse, just a blatant disregard for parental authority.

What? Oh that's right. I don't have any parental authority. I told my kids that I must be the most awful mother in the world because they don't seem to learn the things that I need to teach them. That I told my kids that? Pretty much clinches that I suck as a mom.

Some people believe that children go through phases of equilibrium (agreeable, mellow) and disequilibrium (brats). The chart that I've seen shows a spiral of equilibrium on the half-years and disequilibrium on the whole years. I think. God I hope I have it backwards because if my kids are in equilibrium right now? ::waving white flag:: I give up.

I give up but I don't. I can't give up because I love these little monsters and I want them to be good people. I fear that I am failing them.

I know that the argument will be that I am a good mom because I care, and yeah, I see that argument, but caring only gets you so far. I am failing and I don't know what to do. I am not as zen as I should be. I lose my temper more than I should. My kids learn THIS from me with no problem whatsoever.

It is a little weird when a 13-month-old listens to her parents better than an almost-5-year-old and an almost-7-year-old.

I do think that the sleep issue is a lot of the problem. Perhaps I should give them some diphenhydramine? (ha ha! I kid! I think.)

I Will Miss This Come the End of July

Hey Mommy?

What?

Do you wish we had a big deck with steps that wrap around like 100 steps? Do you wish we had that?

No.

Me neither Mama, that would get me tired.

Hey Mama?

What?

I wish there was a big slide, a long ways up and we could go down it.

Huh.

Hey Mommy?

What?

Do you wish we lived at Michaels? (The craft store)

Um, no.

Yeah, me neither 'cuz then we'd have to be workers there and that would not be good. Hey Mama?

What?

Mama?

What?

I think maybe that person is going to go potty.

Oh really?

Hey Mama? Am I going to Kindergarten the next day?

No Bud, it's not for a while yet.

Oh. Is it my birthday day today?

Nope. That's not for awhile yet either.

Oh. Mama? Mama I want to tell you something.

Oh yeah?

Yeah. When someone litters, they're not nice.

In Which I Realize the Value of Full Disclosure (And Also Get a Little Sappy)

Last week, my son went on a field trip with his preschool. It was his first time riding on a bus and it was a coach bus (although I was informed it did NOT have a toilet on the bus like I assumed all coach buses did...thanks for that fake-coach bus).

The excitement for this outing had been building for weeks. If you have any experience with exuberant 4-year-olds you know how hard it is to contain that enthusiasm. I often do not reveal plans until the day before just for this reason. For those of you who do not have kids, or have younger kids, let me tell you you will be asked approximately every 5- to 10-minutes when the exciting trip is going to happen if you make the rookie mistake of telling your child about it in advance. I had no control in this case. His preschool teachers told the kids about the trip weeks ago so they could prepare, or as I like to call it, so they could drive the parents nuts. (I'm reminded of the gargantuan "robot" of garbage my son brought home earlier in the school year. Why do his teachers hate me?)

Finally the day arrived and it coincided with the day that the builder came out to the house to start putting together the walls of the addition. K was more frenetic than an ant on a smashed hill. He was torn between shadowing Rick, the builder, and wanting to go to Oxbow Park (on the bus!) with his class. Eventually the bus and the trip won out, mostly because I think K had already exhausted every question he could come up with about the building process within a half an hour. Kudos to Rick who seemed to take the incessant questions in good humor. He, himself is a dad to three, although his kids are older now. I told K to stay out of Rick's way but he informed me, rather emphatically, he WANTS me to follow him MOM! So I stand corrected there.

So we arrived at K's school and the bus was parked in the street awaiting its kid cargo. The kids posed for photos in front of the bus and all donned their foam visors they'd made specifically for the day. A few of the kids were reticent, but even they came around and boarded the bus with their friends.

The moment for K to board came and he sought me out. There were hugs and kisses and the always, always, always uttered "I love you Buddy" before he was gone, bounding up the stairs that seemed too big for his little legs to scale. The windows of the bus were tinted such that I couldn't make out which of the little faces looking out was my son's so I just began blindly waving to any form that seemed to be looking in my direction.

I was thankful for my sunglasses as some of the other parents began to joke about enjoying their free time. I knew I'd get some errands done while K was at school, but my eyes teared up as the bus pulled away. His first solo field trip. On a bus (even though it had no toilet-man the credibility just gets shot down all the time). Riding away from me. Away from me.

Away from me. Just as kids are supposed to do as they get older. We are preparing them to leave us. Who thought of this aspect of parenting anyway? I don't think I like it.

So I turned away from my friends, those other parents who seemed so cheerful, so happy to see their kids riding away. I'm thinking the first day of Kindergarten isn't any easier when it's your second child. It's not, is it?

But when I went to pick K up from school, the bus had just arrived back at the school and I had just missed seeing K disembark from the bus. The kids went into the building to go potty or whatever and I watched that bus pull away. Thank you for delivering my boy back safely.

So I waited in the car line for the teachers to bring the kids back out. I was excited to hear all about the cool animals K had seen at Oxbow Park (although technically Zollman Zoo) and was a bit taken aback when he emerged with a frown on his face.

What's the matter Buddy? I asked, wondering if he'd had a falling out with a friend or something.

That was no park, he told me. You all lied to me. All I saw was a bunch of animals. There wasn't a park. It was boring.

So apparently I sent a preschooler and got back a teenager. Sigh.

The End is the New Beginning and Other Stuff

Yesterday was Miss M's last day of school. This means that in 6 short weeks she will step back into her school as a first grader.

I rolled my sore body into the car to go pick her up with the rest of my family. I took photos of her celebrating with some of her friends. I took a photo of her with her teacher. She was positively giddy, alternately hugging her friends and picking them up while trying to jump up and down.

I thought she might want to linger, to savor those last moments with her school friends, to hang on to the last bits of kindergarten, but no. When I said it was time to go, she agreed, gleefully.

Bye! she shouted to kindergarten, already done. A memory that will fade quickly until it is something only pictures will remind us about.

We passed another of her friends on the way to our cars. Her friend had a few tears trickling down her face. Why are you sad, A? Miss M couldn't think why there would be tears on a day that was clearly wonderful, but she hugged her friend in hopes that the gesture would make her feel better.

Then we went for ice cream.

**************************
Yesterday morning I also had another appointment to check my incision. It turns out that I was mistaken about the size of my wound and Craig chose to not correct me. It is about 1 ½ inches long, not just a pencil eraser size. Craig took a picture of it so I could see it and it looks like what it is, an opening in my skin. I think I’ll be healing for quite a while.

On a positive note, they told me that I have just 3.3 pounds to lose until I’m at my pre-preggo weight. Maybe I can keep the weight loss going and get to a healthier weight. That would be nice.

weighty issues

The doctor says they like to see babies regain their birth weight by two weeks after their birth. Ms. D had her check up yesterday, at the ripe old age of 8 days old. She weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces, so she is 2 ounces over her birth weight. I had noticed she was getting quite heavy...ha ha.

Craig has now packed my wound 3 times. He tells me it's looking better but I can feel my blood pressure rising the closer we get to the time we need to re-do the packing (twice per day). I had a slight mental breakdown last night because of it.

I'm just getting tired of not being able to do much of anything and having to ask Craig to do the simplest things for me. I feel like I'm asking him to do things all the time and the poor guy is trying to take care of everyone and everything at once.

It will get better. It will get better.

Right?

M had her school music program yesterday afternoon. I got drugged up and we all went. It was very cute and Miss M had been quite concerned that I wouldn't be able to come so I'm glad I was able to go. I'm also glad it wasn't any longer than it was because it wasn't the most comfortable chair to sit in. Only 4 more days of having a kindergartner. Then, in just 7 weeks I'll be sending her to first grade. Gah!

K had to miss his nap again yesterday because of M's music program, but he did get one today. I'm hoping that soon he'll be back on track with sleeping and my grumpy boy will turn back into my happy boy.

I weighed myself this morning and it looks like I have a whole 7 pounds to lose to be back at my (albeit overweight) pre-pregnancy weight.

The land of the little people

Sitting at a lunch table with Kindergartners on a sunny winter morning

Are you M's mom?
Can you open this for me?
I'm having a little trouble with this.

Are you M's mom?
What's your real name?
Can you open this for me?

Are you M's mom?
Are you going to play outside with us?
Can you open this for me?

Are you M's mom?
Can you open this for me?
I'm having just a little trouble with this.

*****************************
Yes, today I helped run an activity at M's school that about 90 kindergartners rotated through within an hour and a half. 12 kids at a time.

It was actually pretty fun. The kids were all well-behaved.

Kindergartners from another school in the city (that is not very diverse ethnically) were bussed to M's school this morning for a carnival of sorts. M's school is very diverse so it's an ideal school to mingle the non-diverse school with.

It was great because I knew all of the kids in M's class already, and some of the kids from the other classes.

After the visiting kids hopped their bus back to their school it was lunchtime. I'd packed an extra sandwich in M's lunch box and an extra cookie (which M tried to claim for herself) so I stayed and ate lunch with the kids.

You can tell from my short poem what the conversation was like, and what my main function was.

I wish I could volunteer more often. It was a lot of fun.

And M thought it was great that I ate lunch with her.

Yet more proof

Let me say that today hasn't been the best of days.

Although it could be worse. It could always be worse.

I had my OB appointment. Thankfully, the Munchkin is still looking good. I'm measuring where I should be, and his/her heartbeat sounds strong. I, however, lost another 4 pounds this month. Apparently that's not a great thing to have lost 14 pounds during your pregnancy. I haven't been barfing. I've been eating an insane amount of calories.

So, I had to have more blood drawn to check my thyroid. If it turns out to be my thyroid, there is no real risk to me or baby, so I don't know why we're checking it anyway.

This afternoon I dropped K at preschool and went to get some groceries. I arrived home and started to unpack when the phone rang.

It was M's teacher.

Yet more proof that I am doing a craptastick job of parenting.

Miss M will have an in-school detention tomorrow. It seems that, even after the principal chatted with her yesterday about the playground rules she was breaking, she decided to continue to break them today.

She was sliding down the slide head-first. Why would she think this is safe? She was pushing other kids down the slide. Well, her and her good friend. She says she wasn't pushing anyone and that her "friend" was "forcing" her to do it all (including the sliding head-first).

I told her that no one can "force" her to do things that she doesn't want to do. She assures me that I will get no more phone calls like that.

My son is currently in his room, bare-assed and screaming because he didn't want his pull-up changed and also doesn't want to wear underwear.

Both kids fought and screamed in the car on the way home from their schools. As usual.

It sure is a good thing I'm having another baby since I'm doing such a bang-up job of raising the two that are already here.

Welcome home

K and I sat in the pick up line at M's school waiting for her and watching and listening to the small snowflakes bounce off the car with tiny pings. I noticed that I could see just one end of M's classroom through the window just in time to see her walk by. She was all business, putting some object away at the end of the day. Then she disappeared to the other end of the room, out of my sight.

I immediately began planning how I'd arrive at school just at the right time again on dark days while the snow is threatening but allowing me a voyeuristic look at my child in kindergarten. I'd been given a taste and I wanted more. I wished for a video camera so I could see what she's really like when her overbearing mother isn't messing things up for her.

The school bell rang, jolting me out of my devious daydream. It barely registered that some of the kids were emerging from the building holding American flags until Miss M appeared, waving her flag exuberantly.

"Hi Mom!" she greeted as she climbed into her booster seat. "We welcomed the soldiers home!"

Her school, you see, is next to the Armory. In my mind, I immediately pictured the street lined with children waving flags.

"I bet they really liked that," I told M as my eyes filled with tears.

"Yeah" she said confidently "people even honked and waved at us."

All I could think, behind my tears, was "how cool is that?"

I guess we passed

Today Craig and I attended Miss M's first Kindergarten conference.

We sat in teeny-tiny chairs across a teeny-tiny table from her teacher while she talked about our daughter. It occurred to me that this woman now sees my daughter for more hours than I do during weekdays.

Don't get me wrong, she's a pleasant woman and she seems to really care about the kids in her class. But she sees my baby more than I do now. And, due to the nature of her job, she's judging my daughter.

I don't particularly care for it.

That's life, Heather, get used to it.

Yeah, but I still don't like it.

That being said, we were told that she's doing well in school. She's learning all that she supposed to be learning. She wants to be friends with everyone in her class to the point that her teacher has to explain to her that sometimes she just needs to play with the kids that aren't being mean to one another. (Some of the girls play that mean "I'm not your friend" power trip on one another, and M wants to play with all the girls so she's at a loss when someone says "well, we're not playing with you" but M still wants to play with both girls. Dur. That doesn't make much sense how I wrote it, but I know what I mean!)

Really no shocking pronouncements. We knew she was doing just fine. It's nice to hear someone else say my kid is a great kid and that she's fun to have around.

But really, I knew that already.

Way Too Fast

The four of them together are a formidable group to an outsider. They are cousins and they're close. Close in age and in relationship. The older two are 7 months apart in age, the younger two, 3 months. Cousins and friends.

Since the older two were born, we've spent nearly every Friday at my parents' house visiting my Dad (or Boppa if you want the kids to know who you're talking about) who retired (mostly) shortly after my brother's oldest was born.

The result of the cousins getting together regularly and often since they were very young (I know they are still young) has been that they get along famously. And terribly. They get along like siblings.

This morning, Miss M had a late-start for school so school started 2 hours later than usual. We took the opportunity to go play at Boppa's house with the cousins.

It was chilly today with highs in the 50s, but we're hearty Minnesotans and the kids still played outside. B took M in the house to show her his photo of himself on his 4-wheeler that he was taking to his afternoon Kindergarten show-and-tell today. The four of them used Boppa's tools, hammers, a saw, screwdrivers, to destroy cardboard boxes. They rode bikes 2 driveways down, then turned around because that's as far as Boppa says they can go. They pretended to mow the lawn.

They stood in a line at the end of the driveway to watch the refuse truck arrive to pick up the trash from the house across the street.

My Dad turned to me with watery eyes (hey, it was cold and windy today) and commented "They're growing up way too fast."

Indeed they are.

Premature Elation

We parked the PT in our church's parking lot and set off hand-in-hand to walk the six blocks to our 20-story white and grey destination.

The walk was pleasant. K held my hand without the usual pulling away. He commented on the men pouring concrete ("They're pouring cement, Mommy!") and babbled incessantly about where we were headed.

We entered the building and caught an elevator to the 5th floor. I want to go that way mama!

Sorry, but we need to go this way.

We approach the desk and K announces Hi! I'm here to get my ears checked! The desk attendant smiles. Oh? And your name sir?

We sit in the cramped waiting area "reading" the newspaper and a sports magazine until a friendly woman appears and calls K's name.

Hi! he says. I'm K.

She introduces herself and the audiologist. Again, he introduces himself without prompting. Hi! I'm K!

One of the women look in his ears and say the words I am unprepared for. Looks like there is still a tube there.

They play games. First, K is to hit the scoop of a plastic shovel when he hears a sound, sending plastic bugs flying. He loves this game, but is patient and actually listens to hear the prompt before smacking the shovel scoop. His laughter is making all three adult women giggle.

He's done so well he earns 4 stickers, 2 pencils and 2 suckers (1 for him and 1 he's requested for his sister).

We head to the next appointment waiting area and check in. We're "reading" another magazine and attempting to not bother fellow waiters when we hear K's name.

Hi! he says as we approach the woman who called him. There's the doctor! Hi doctor!

The woman smiles and tells him she is not the doctor but she is glad to meet him.

He plays in the room as we wait.

The PA enters and looks in his ears.

Yep, looks like a tube in his right ear still.

I reiterate that we have a tube in ear wax at home. I'm told that it's probably the one from his left ear. Apparently they can come out of the drum and be stuck in the ear canal. Considering all the wax on the tube, this is probably the case.

His surgeon is called in and she confirms that the tube, indeed, is still in. So we need to schedule the surgery to have it removed.

I hug him a little tighter before another friendly woman escorts K out to pick a prize while I hear the details of the surgery.

He re-enters with 2 more suckers, 2 more stickers, a bottle of bubbles and a ball.

The woman he played games with sticks her head in the door saying she just had to see K one more time and warns me that there are at least 2 women who are plotting to take him home tonight. I tell her that some days I would gladly take them up on that.

His surgery is scheduled for 2 weeks from today. September 21st in the morning. Then he should have only one more check six weeks following. Then we should (hopefully) be able to close this chapter in K's life.

Although the women of West 5 will miss him. He had no less than 10 women fawning over him. Honestly it started to get a bit ridiculous at the end.

When he's a teenager we're getting an unlisted phone number.

----------------------------
P.S.
Miss M emerged from school with a stuffed penguin that she won from the school fundraiser so she was thrilled, of course.

Curly Hill sounds like a fun place

My day began remarkably well. I stirred as a 50-pound mass of energy launched herself over my body only to snuggle under my arm. My hand automatically moved to brush blonde hair from blue eyes in a rhythmic dance. We dozed together until my radio alarm clock rudely interrupted our slumber.

I entered the shower as M asked her almost-daily question: Mom, can I have just ONE cheese? The answer is always yes because she asks before she gets.

Once I am out of the shower I hear K's requests from behind his bedroom door. Mama? Can you get me out? We've placed one of those child-resistant door-knob covers on the inside of his door in an attempt to keep him from wandering the house. He knows how to open the door, but is unlikely to put in the effort most mornings.

I opened his door and moved past him to turn off his nightlight and fan. Hi Mama! You look pretty! Have I mentioned how much I love my son?

Today Miss M is going to Quarry Hill for the first of 3 days with her class. (In fact, the entire school will be there for either the morning or the afternoon all three days.) She loved when we visited "Curly Hill" this summer.

It's not Curly Hill M, it's Quarry Hill.

I don't care Mommy, I want to call it Curly Hill.

I volunteered to chaperone. I was a little nervous driving there this afternoon. Anticipation always gets me, though I reminded myself that these were a bunch of 5-year-olds. If they started to get lippy I could always squish them.

I arrived a little earlier than the meeting time, and commiserated with some of the other volunteer Kindergarten parents. No other volunteers for my daughter's class, but there were 2 dads that I knew of M's friends in another class. One of the dads shared that his son had gotten a detention yesterday. I'm just going to say that this is a surprise to me...that it has taken this long.

Finally, the kids arrived and filed off the bus. M was excited to see me and refused to let go of my hand for the first 20 minutes we were there. The kids had a rules briefing, then were assigned a nature center teacher. Our class drew "Travis" or "Mr. Travis" if you want to be formal about it.

He was actually very good with the kids and even threw in a few jokes that us "grown-ups" would only appreciate.

The kids were given nets (some that float...for certain kids that Ms. G could determine who would benefit from such a feature...apparently all boys in the class. And some that don't, reserved for the more "mature" kindergartner.) They were instructed of proper dock "fishing" stances (belly or knees please!). One of the boys given the floater net showed the reason he was given that net specifically when I had to retrieve it for him among his exclamations it floats! See? Yeah, Nate, it sure does. How about we just use it to catch creatures now?

M caught several snails and a teeny-weenie fishie (but she was the only kid to catch a fish!) and some other bug that looks like a stick but it's not a walking stick.

Later, they had some time inside exploring their 5 senses, then back outside for some "turtle tag" and some other high-energy game that "Mr. Travis" made them play. During turtle tag, Luis approached Ms. G holding his hand over his mouth. They made a bee-line for the building, emerging 5 minutes later with the news that Luis had, indeed, barfed in the bathroom. His dad was called to retrieve him. No bus ride back to school for Luis.

Then Mr. Travis pulled the most lovely thing out of his backpack. A book. He read them a book and I had a chance to chat with Ms. G.

She told me that M had been so excited this morning and mentioned that she had been to Curly Hill before. Ms. G was so tickled by her terminology that she had to share with another kindergarten teacher. The teacher's response? Well Curly Hill sure sounds like a fun place!

It was so fun that I said I'd go help tomorrow too...since no other parents apparently volunteered.

I can't wait to hear what Maddie and Muhktar have to say tomorrow.