There are few things that raise my dander as much as people parenting my children for me. I am not a slacker parent. I do not (for the most part) use force to make my children mind. I will admit I have spanked my kids once or twice (honestly, not often) but the situation seemed extraordinarily important at the time.
It always astounds me when people think it is okay to discipline my child when I am already CLEARLY working on this. I do not think it is fine for my kids to run around in a store. Have they done it? Yes. Have I dragged kids out of the store kicking and screaming? Yep.
Do I think it's appropriate for some stranger to step in and discipline my kids? Hell to the no.
If you touch my children inappropriately I will be pissed. Do it in secret? I'll find out. In front of me? Protect your balls.
There are few things that irk me more that someone stepping in to the parent role when I am clearly doing so already. Obviously I am sensitive about my role as a parent but I can assure you I know my children better than the stockboy/man at Wal-Mart.
Have you ever witnessed clear parental neglect in public? I have. It's not pretty. Did I do anything? No. And I can't say I'm proud of that, but what is appropriate? In most cases the parent who is yelling at the kids is just frustrated. We cannot know what happens at home. Perhaps that is the problem.
In most cases though, I think parents need someone to say "hey, it's okay. I've had kids act crazy in the store. People look at you and you feel like a complete jerk but you're really an awesome mom."
I have felt tempted to offer suggestions to parents of younger kids who are acting up. I don't offer mainly because I would have been defensive if someone had approached me in the same situation.
I obviously want my kids to behave themselves in a store. If they are not, we leave. I have carried both big kids out of Target, kicking and screaming, while I was 8 months pregnant. I do not need any stranger correcting my kids for me.
Have you had a stranger try to discipline your child?
Saturday, September 5, 2009
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11 people like me!:
I heard about this incident. The guy obviously doesn't have kids or grandkids. I've never had anyone discipline my child for me, but I've had old ladies offer "helpful advice" :)
Amen. You said it, and well.
I have walked out of stores with screaming kids in tow. It is not easy trying to teach our little people how to behave like social acceptable beings.
But I agree with you. I share sympathetic gazes with other parents over their unruly children (Lord knows I've need the same on occasion), but have kept my words to myself.
This just happened when my friend Sally HP (www.sexandtheknitty.blogspot.com) were at a splashpad. Some mom flipped out big time at Sally's son. It was so inappropriate. She didn't even seem to care the Sally was handling it.
This story got my dander up too! I mean we've all been there with the screaming kids in Walmart doing the best that we can--and yes I have dragged my son out of a store too! I'm not a violent person but boy I could have been if someone had laid a hand on my son!
what a freak! I cannot even imagine!
I would not tell another parent what to do. Seriously who knows what the kid/parent has been through that day/week/month/lifetime. I have had some really crappy days and my parenting hasn't been stellar but for someone to step in would be so so wrong.
This goes beyond parenting the woman's kids for her. He's lucky she didn't smack him back. Regardless of how inappropriate he thought the child was behaving, you don't hit the child. You (at most) complain to the store manager.
Oh. my. I'd be ready to jump all over them! Luckily, for now, my kid is pretty shy in public. The few times he's acted out I have actually had people have the nerve to comment...yeah, that makes me mad. Actually, trying to discipline my kid for me...I'd freak out.
I saw this article and thought the same thing: How did the mother not slap the crap out of that creepy guy for hitting her child? Maybe she was too shocked and just eager to get her girl away from him. I blogged back in spring about a time when a man grabbed my son and yelled at him. The man and I got into a yelling match. It wasn't pretty.
Oh my goodness!!?? (and hi!) I just read the link .... how did she hold herself back from retaliating? How does he not have a black eye and a broken nose .... not to mention being bent over in aggony. What a shocker! What was he thinking?
P.S. I'm not a violent person btw.... just a fiercely protective mother.
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