The HS writer

I was feeling nostalgic so I thought I'd post a column that I wrote for my high school newspaper when I was the editor.

February 1992
Mysteries of Man

Since the creation of man and woman, each sex has been trying to figure out its opposite. Girls forever wonder why boys are friendly one day and distant the next, while boys are puzzled by why girls take so long in the bathroom.

Since no one can tell for sure why each sex has these quirks, there are, naturally, experts to explain them for us. Any girl who has ever wondered if her fashion magazine is giving her good advice need only to ask a male's opinion. While paging through my latest issue of Seventeen, trying to answer a few mysteries of man, my boyfriend leaned over my shoulder and scowled, "why do you read that stuff? It's just a bunch of lies."

So why are all these so-called experts claiming to know the answers? Do they make guesses and print them as fact, or are they merely the thoughts of one male who lives in Siberia? Once again, one can only guess. My theory is the experts try to mislead all the other girls so they have an edge in the competition. While we foolish girls are following erroneous advice and making mistakes, the experts know what not to do and get ahead in the game.

I'm still hoping someday, someone out there will explain to me why boys never remember to put the toilet seat down. Maybe a scientist will study the human brain and suddenly discover how to read thoughts and explain behavior, but I won't hold my breath. Until then, I'll try to look on the bright side. . . if I understood men, they might not be so interesting. Vive la difference!