To the boys I've loved before

My entire school career I chose at least one boy each year upon whom to bestow my devotion. The elementary school years the crushes were almost always kept a closely-guarded secret and each year's target was selected within the first few days of class.

These boys occupied my thoughts during class. I'd hope to be assigned a desk next to him. I'd try to maneuver my way onto his team during gym class. After school I'd take out my class photo and imagine kissing him.

Yeah.

So anyway.

First grade the object of my obsession was a boy named Daniel. He was one of the taller boys in the class which was already beginning to be an important attribute to me since I seem to have been tall from birth. He had sandy blond hair, blue eyes and a sweet smile. I kissed my class photo of Daniel many times.

Then, one day Daniel wasn't feeling so well and barfed all over his desk. The love affair was over.

In second grade, my friend Jolene and I chased Bernard around the playground relentlessly. Bernard was a quiet boy with a shy smile and a slow run. We'd catch him and take turns kissing him on the cheek. That was when I learned that even dark skin blushes.

By third grade my family had moved to Minnesota and my heart belonged to Tait. Returning to an infatuation with a blond boy but this one had brown eyes like mine. He teased me constantly about my funny New York accent but I secretly loved the attention he offered with the taunts.

In fourth grade I moved on to blond-haired, blue-eyed Chris. He began the school year in a hip cast and I found myself intrigued by the boy confined to the wheelchair. Unfortunately my infatuation with him went the route of Daniel when Chris barfed on his desk. That darn flu bug.

Fifth grade brought the return to Tait love.

Then I landed in sixth grade. The year they separated the boys and the girls and forced us to watch filmstrips about all the yucky things our bodies would soon be doing if they weren't already. The boys, for the first time, seemed to be discovering us girls.

I loved Mark. Mark, who lived 2 blocks away. Mark, who walked home with me. Mark, to whom I was brave enough to write a letter confessing my feelings. Mark, who loved my friend Abby.

It wasn't so great when the boys started discovering the girls.