Thursday, January 25, 2007

My Legacy

My kids have parts of me. It’s a fact that they will come to terms with in about 30 years or so. When they reach their teenage years and people comment “X is just like your Mom,” they will cringe, scowl and deny any relation. These things I am fairly sure of.

Physically, my daughter looks like I did at her age. (Sorry, M!) But she inherited her beautiful blue eyes from her father. My son? He inherited my brown eyes (although his are much bigger and more handsome than mine ever could be). My daughter is tall, (as I was) but not as lean as I was as a girl. If only I could still be that lean. My son is leaner, like his mother was, once upon a time.

The ladies at CHBM have posed the question “What parts of yourself do you hope your child gets from you?” I assume they mean the non-physical aspects, since the physical aspects are a done-deal.

I hope that my children love their family as I do. My family was not overly demonstrative with their love, but I think I have (so far) fostered an openly demonstrative home. I let my feelings out. I cry when I’m sad, or mad, or just because I need to. My kids (especially K) often stop and say “I need to give you a hug (or kiss) Mom.” I can only hope that when they are in their 30s and if I am still around they will still come to me and say “I need a kiss Mom.”

I hope that my children love to read as much as I do. I remember hiding under the covers with a flashlight as a child because I wanted to continue reading after lights out. As an adult, I still read with a flashlight so I don’t disturb my husband too much.

I’m torn about whether I want my kids to acquire the trait of feeling things deeply. M, I’m sure already has. It’s troublesome in that, when I get really angry, I cry. When I get upset, I cry. When I’m really happy, I cry. Yeah. A lot of crying. Miss M has followed in my footsteps, and in some ways, so has K. Empathy has its good and bad points. There really is only so much crying you should do over Grey’s Anatomy.

I hope that my kids love dancing and singing as much or more than I do, and that they continue to practice these loves into adulthood. (So they don’t get big like me.)

I hope that my children are colorblind. Not that I want them to see only red and green, but that they see only people. (So far, I think, this is going well. M has never mentioned anything about a person’s skin color. She has named a (white) baby doll after a (black) classmate.) Maybe my terminology is off, I’m not sure. However, you can be assured, my heart is in the right place.

I hope that my kids see the glass half-full most of the time.

I hope that my kids love their parents as much as I love mine.

I hope that my kids love their children (should they choose to have any) as much as I love mine.

I hope.

13 people like me!:

BlogWhore said...

i hope so, too.

Sandy said...

I hope my kids don't have my feet...they're huge.

In all seriousness, I believe our kids will inherit the traits we value the most.

Kara said...

I am becoming sappier with the crying thing as I get older. It doesn't seem to be controllable either!

Yes, I cry with Grey's too. Were you talking about the scene when they had to unplug George's dad? I tried to hide my blubbering from Michael when that happened.

Two Faces said...

My daughter doesn't really seem to think much about skin color, either. When she was 3, she told me that the "black" mommy taught phonics one day. I was startled because she'd never referred to someone by their skin color. Turns out, it was a mommy with a black shirt on! I figured this out after she talked about the "red boy" on the slide, and the "blue girl" on the swings!

Pendullum said...

Wonderful, wonderful, sweet dreams for your children....

Kurt Schroeder said...

I hope our kids are very different from me. I am doing lots of stuff wrong.

Bonnie B said...

Oh that was super sweet-- I hope your kids get your sense of humor because sometimes you just make my day

Belle said...

Those are great things to hope for your children. Just here via the carnival.

Jenn said...

what a great list! most worthy things to pass along and if they get even half of them, they will be exceptional people.

and, no, it is impossible to cry too much at Grey's Anatomy!

(via CHBM)

amaras_mom said...

Beautiful 'want' list for your children. And I too remember hiding under the covers after bedtime was announced so I could sneak in a few extra pages!

Here via CHBM!

Jamie Says said...


I think it would be interesting to find out what our parents "list" consisted of and see how it all worked out. I betcha they got pretty darn close!

I'm a cryer too, but I can't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Whatever it is, it's ours. :)

I enjoyed reading! Thanks!

Janean said...

WOW! Great list! I totally agree. One day I woke up and realized I'd gone through a whole day without hugging any of my kids!
Man, turn in my Mommy license.
Now I make a point of at least one hug every day so they know I love them.
My parents used to make us kiss them good night. As a teenager, I discovered WHY they had instilled this habit in us. Cuz then they could SMELL the alcohol or cigarettes on our breath if we'd been naughty!! :D
Have a great week to a fellow Crazy Hip Blog Mama.

The Mad Momma said...

That was a lovely post.. came here via CHBM. I want a lot of the same things for my son. The love for family, the ability to feel deeply.... I hope we all see these things in our children someday.

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