Monday, October 30, 2006

Open letter to my boys

My dearest boys,

One day when you become teenagers and adults you won't want to spend all this mommy time with me like you do now that you are young. In fact, you will probably not want anything to do with me, and keep the door to your bedroom closed at all times. With that in mind, I thought I'd provide you with a handy reference guide since our communication will be limited, especially when you grow up and move out. Since we share the same DNA, I guarantee you will need it. Believe me, I wish my mom had given this to me. It took me years to figure her out.

  1. Forgive your mother if I ever embarrass you. I'm trying to stay as trendy as possible and drive the coolest car I can afford.

  2. Don't come near me when I'm cranky. I will scar you for life.

  3. Do as I say, don't do as I do. I'm a terrible role model.

  4. Don't worry about how I treat your father sometimes. I love him and will always be stuck with him for the rest of my life so that's why I have issues.

  5. You owe it to me to respect me. I wiped your poop.

  6. Don't ask Dad to teach you how to drive. Trust me.

  7. Don't ever hit a woman, don't verbally abuse a woman, and by all means, don't stand in a woman's way. You will get run over. Most likely by me when I find out.

  8. Don't have children and then move far away from me. I know I did that to my mother, but my mother and I had issues. This falls under the "do as I say" clause. See #3 above.

  9. Help each other when Dad and I can't and always look out for each others' back.
  10. Be good brothers. At least always humor me at holidays.

  11. Make a lot of money. I haven't planned for retirement very well, and you will need it for the nursing home you will put me in.

My boys, if you keep this reference at your side as we grow together, I guarantee success in our relationship. You might not know it yet, but I'm giving you valuable information here. One day you will appreciate it.

Oh, and one more thing I left off the list. Don't take life so seriously. Reality sucks.


Kate is Mom to two young boys and tries to incorproate humor into life as much as possible, because life itself is pretty serious as it is. Five year old, CJ and 10 month old Andrew keep the humor going daily. She likes to write about the trials of being a working mom, trying to make a living, and adjusting to the role reversal with her stay at home husband/dad. She has always loved to write and finds blogging very cathartic. Check out your friend Heather at my site today, as she is my ghost writer for today!

This post is part of the October Blog Exchange. This month we're all writing open letters. These are letters written to people or entities from whom you don't expect to receive a response. You can find me at Kate's site today, and the full list of participants can be found by clicking here. Read them all!!

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Anonymous said...

This was great - especially No. 3. I agree wholeheartedly!

K said...

very sweet. if they would only listen... right? :)

Mom Thumb said...

aka mom thumb. those are great. believe it or not, my 21 year old son actually apologized for some of his behavior in the past, which really wasn't that bad. it is possible for them to 'get it!'

Heather said...

Ditto for me on the #3. I'm a terrible role model. I hope my kids don't copy me on most of the things I do!!

Harmonica Man said...

"You owe it to me to respect me. I wiped your poop."

I love this one. I'm going to have it made into 3 large posters and pin them on my kids walls.

ECR said...

My favorite is number 4. This is a damn good list.

A. Elliot said...

What a great list! I have to say my favorite was 4 and a huge fear of mine is 8 especially because I also live far away from my parents. My MIL always says the saying that I hate, "A daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son until he finds a wife". I have two boys.

Waya said...

That's really funny! I can so relate to most of them on the list. We were overjoyed to have a daughter after two boys b/c like a. elliot said above, a daughter will be around forever and the son will go wherever his wife dictates, as apparent by my hubbie's experience.

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