Some Days are Just Hard

I had a tough day yesterday. I can't even tell you why. No one thing. It's one of those unexplainable things that people with anxiety and depression go through I guess. It doesn't help that I'm peri-menopausal and my hormones are trying to kill me. I spent a lot of the day crying, which isn't great for my Ms. D since she wants to know what happened and I can't say that anything really happened because it didn't. She knows her mom has anxiety and depression. She knows I take medications for that. I think it still worries her and that sucks. But I also don't want to hide it because if she should develop any of the same issues I don't want her to feel ashamed. And yet I still feel ashamed myself because I know there are people (some very close to me who could maybe use some services themselves) who still think we can control these emotions and just turn them off. Wish it was that simple. Brains are stupid.

D and I went to get some groceries and after we got in the car and were trying to leave the parking lot there was a woman pushing a cart while talking on her cell phone who just randomly stopped in the middle of the lane. My first thought was why are you walking in the middle of the aisle? I've never seen anyone walk in the center of the lane in a parking lot. How special do you think you are? So I waited. And the person behind me in her vehicle waited. And she just stood there, apparently oblivious to everyone around her with her important phone call...that needed to be completed in the middle of the lane. I admit I was not on my game today with patience. But. So I waited for a bit while she stood there with her important matters that couldn't be completed in her parked car or on a sidewalk or even on the side of the lane like normal people do. I beeped my horn. I tried to just tap it, but the car is still new to me and I couldn't get any sound to come from the tap. So I honked it. If looks could kill I'd be dead. She made it a point to shake her head and give me the evil eye several times as she moved out of the way. Why do people think the world revolves around them. She was also apparently taking note of my license plate. So I'd love to hear that phone call to the police. "Hello, I'm calling because I was standing in the middle of the parking lot talking on the phone and a woman beeped her horn at me to get me to move my ass out of the lane. Yes I stood there completely oblivious of others around me for several minutes. I'm too important to move to the side of the lane like literally everyone else in the world. Thank you I'd like you to place her under arrest."

Then I watched America's Got Talent and cried the ugly cry over some of the stories of the people who appeared on the show.

Thank goodness not all people are assholes. But there are a lot of them.