Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The 5 or more Stages of Grief

I first learned about the Kubler-Ross Model, or 5 stages of grief, in a high school psychology class. By that time, my maternal grandfather had passed away from prostate cancer a few years earlier and I had experienced grief first-hand. I don't know that I understood the 5 stages theory at the time, but I know that not everyone experiences every stage anyway. Some people may get stuck at the anger stage...others may jump to acceptance for one reason or another. If a death is sudden, we may jump from stage to stage depending on the day.

It's possible to be angry with someone and still love that person. When that person dies and you're still angry with them it creates an extra conundrum in the stages of grief. So we jump. Anger. Denial. Anger. Depression. Denial. Anger. Anger. Anger. I don't know how or when you pass out of this cycle.

So I try to resolve any anger I hold for others. Most of the time it is small things that irritate me...those are easy to let go.

I try to pass along peace and understanding to others as much as I can. I've heard from some people recently that asked me for patience and were worried I wouldn't grant it. How sad is it that someone would be afraid to ask for patience and think it would not be granted?

What do you do to help others and release unnecessary anger?

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