Friday, June 4, 2010

This Weekend Will Either be Wonderful or Make Me Suicidal

I'm supposed to chaperone an overnight Girl Scout trip this weekend. Something like 10 girls and 6 moms. It's totally manageable. The girls are all great kids. My social anxiety has me freaking out a bit because I will have to "hang out" with 6 other women that I don't know well.

At the same time I'm excited to spend this time with my oldest child. She's never stayed overnight in a hotel before and she's really thrilled about the first time. I wouldn't want to miss it. Writing that I feel sad for my husband because I know he wouldn't want to miss it either.

There are other issues. I'm fat. I have to put on a swimming suit around all these skinny moms. Not my idea of fun. My daughter is worth this humiliation. I attempted to find a new swimsuit the other day. The one promising model was too low cut and had little support for the "girls". In short, I was a saggy, fat mess.

I've tried to start running but the recent diagnosis of asthma has thwarted my efforts. Not that the breathlessness didn't before, but suddenly I know that I have a real problem. I will be walking for a while. I feel determined to not use this as an excuse to not exercise.

Swimming is an ideal sport for an asthmatic. This weekend will likely be fun with the girls. I'll set aside my body issues. I'll play and laugh and talk. I'll wish my whole family was with us.

Or I'll want to poke my eye out with a fork.

Something in between there, probably.

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Amanda said...

Hey, you are on the right track! Go get one of those sassy skort jobbies at a place like REI or Athleta. Pair it with a tank that your comfortable in and go be radiant!

mayberry said...

Ditto Amanda -- I love my athletic shorts-style bathing suit bottoms that I wear with a couple of different tankini tops. No bikini line to deal with (if you know what I mean) and you don't have to take the whole thing off to go to the bathroom.

Also, have you ever seen Please don't think I am calling you fat. But they have some good posts about finding clothes to feel confident in, and so on.

Have a great time on the trip!

Madeline said...

Hope it's more fabulous than fork worthy.

A Vapid Blonde said...

Hey...I hope you made it through with out the rusty fork incident!

I would be zoning out on multiple kinds of drugs to help me be social and carefree.

I'm sorry to hear about the!

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