Saturday, October 3, 2009

Adventures in Northern Minnesota

Hey! You know what’s fun? When you head up north to an area that has had fire warnings for weeks, if not months, because it hasn’t rained just in time for it to RAIN the whole time you are there. That, my friends, is what you call timing. Bad timing? You be the judge.

So you drive to Northern Minnesota with your young children fighting every 2.2 minutes in between said fights asking for food every 1.2 minutes. So you finally stop for lunch at a fast food establishment, during which your oldest child tells you she doesn’t feel well so you take her out to the truck to lie down while the rest of the family finishes their lunch. Approximately 4 minutes later you see your husband motioning from inside the establishment, beckoning you to return. So you get your oldest to summon the strength to go back inside and when you get inside you find your son with red eyes and an ice pack on the finger that got smashed in the bathroom door. You look at the finger and recoil a bit at the depth of the indentation in your boy’s little finger. You become amazed at the employees of the establishment’s complete lack of concern. You are forced to stand and wait for 5 minutes to get your injured son the free ice cream cone that came with the meal that you paid for, all the while thinking they ought to be offering your son a whole freaking ice cream cake for free. You finally get the cone and your son enjoys about 5 licks before he says he’s done and you pile in the car to continue the journey.

Your oldest is suddenly feeling a little better, only because you gave her some acetaminophen and also because she is concerned over her little brother.

There is a noticeable lack of fighting for the rest of the trip north.

The visits goes swimmingly for a while in spite of the fact that your oldest is complaining of a sore throat so you drive to the nearest town (using the term loosely) and spend $27,873 on more acetaminophen and some spray throat analgesic. You sleep in a closet-sized room with your two girls and tend to each of them approximately 5736 times during the night because that’s how often they wake up.

But your husband knows that you’re miserable because you don’t even have Twitter or blogs to read at night when everyone goes to bed so he lets you sleep in until about 8:30 when he brings you breakfast in bed. (Homemade hash browns….mmmm.)

You play games with your kids and attempt to get the baby to take a nap, which she doesn’t, because why would she want to nap? When you finally give up you discover your husband is down at the lake helping his father pull in the dock for the year. Your older two kids are supervising the project. So your mother-in-law may or may not spend 20 minutes complaining that her neighbors stole her rocks.

So then your son comes running up the hill crying and you ask what’s wrong and he says his dad stepped on his hand. It was totally accidental and of course it is the same hand with the injured pinkie so your son is down to three good fingers on his right hand.

Your kids go to sleep without a fuss and you suddenly realize it is Thursday night and there is no way in Hell your father-in-law is going to want to watch Grey’s Anatomy. So instead you pull out your laptop and write about how much fun you and your family are having.

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Anonymous said...

OH, come on- fun times. Amma

Jeff said...

Yee-haw! Well ranted Heather. This is just phase 1 of raising kids. Well maybe phase 2. I'm on phase 5 which is a completely different set of problems. Yee-haw.

A Vapid Blonde said...

Was this a voluntary trip..because I can think of other things that might be more laundry at home.

But at least your son has one good hand in tact. That is an up side.

Chelsea said...

Sounds like it was a GREAT time! *note the sarcasm*

Madeline said...

Ha! Nothing like a good ole' fashioned family vacation! Hope it's not too awful.

kelleysbeads said...

Sounds like an improvement to some of the summer trips Up North. **hugs**

chelle said...

Beautiful rant.
Poor hand :(

Hip Mom's Guide said...

Nothing like a little Forced Family Fun to bring out the best in everyone.

Poor fingers.

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