As If I Needed Another Reason To Hate Shopping There

I only shop at Wal-Mart if I absolutely have to. Reasons I might absolutely have to go to Wal-Mart for groceries include: we need cat food; popcorn chicken (K’s standard lunch choice) or we need some Equate brand children’s cold and allergy medicine (aka “purple stuff” at our house) or I need some sort of craft supply that I cannot get at Target. (I love Target, and by Target I mean SuperTarget, which is the only kind of Target that exists in my city.)

The reasons I dislike shopping at Wal-Mart have nothing to do with their corporate policies, although those could be reasons enough. No, my reasons include the ubiquitous extremely loud domestic disputes in the laundry aisle, the mothers screaming at their children, and the rude salespeople.

I suck it up and go there for those necessities that only Wal-Mart can offer, and take comfort in the fact that while I am there I can (if I am so inclined) buy a 6-inch chocolate cake for about $10 or less. Shopping there always seems to make me want to devour massive quantities of chocolate.

When M was a baby she did not take a pacifier. However, I always carried one in my purse on the off chance that she might take one instead of screaming her head off while in public. As she grew, I forgot about that pacifier, but in my attempts to entertain my toddler I would position my purse in her lap. At first, she played with the zippers, leaving the content undisturbed but as she grew older she began to be able to maneuver the zippers to get at the bounty inside. It didn’t take long for me to realize that every time we entered Wal-Mart (and only then) she would take out that pacifier and pop it in her mouth, sucking on it the entire time we were in the store. It was like her toddler cigarette.

The other day I took all three kids to Wal-Mart. We needed 2 of the aforementioned items that bring me there. I was going against my better judgment after a morning of listening to M and K alternately fighting then ganging up to sass back at me. It was not an ideal day for a shopping trip to the store that raises even toddler’s blood pressure, but it needed to be done.

On the way there we played a game. I said a word or sentence and the kids had to tell me if it was a nice way to talk or a naughty way to talk. Wonder of wonders they got them all right so apparently they do know when they’re being little snots to one another and to Mom and Dad. We even delved into tone and how you say “sorry” whether it sounds like it was an honest, heart-felt apology or not. They understood that one too. Go figure.

So we had covered some ground rules before we went in the store. I even had the kids “help” me find the items on our list a-la Jo Frost (aka Super Nanny). It was working for the most part. I was feeling good. Then we got to the bakery.

If you’ve shopped at Wal-Mart with young kids you know that the bakery is the carrot you dangle in front of the kids to get them through the store. It’s one thing you can promise them that if they’re good, they will get a cookie at the bakery.

Sigh.

They no longer give out free cookies at Wal-Mart. It’s like they want to make sure I never want to shop there again. To take away Mom’s one bargaining chip? That’s just wrong Wal-Mart.

I guess in the future I’ll for sure be shopping at SuperTarget (where they not only still give away free cookies, they are also almost always full-size cookies not just the dinky little ones Wal-Mart used to give).

And if I have to go to Wal-Mart I’ll probably bring my own cookies from home to give to the kids when we get out to the car…purchased at SuperTarget, ‘natch.