9:30 a.m.
Dear Miss M,
As I drove you to school today you began to tear yet another piece of paper from one of the many notebooks I have given you in an attempt to eliminate the 4 million scraps of paper that we have in the car and around our house.
I have
So I yelled at you Stop tearing the paper out of your notebook!
Immediately, your face crumpled. The tears flowed. Your face turned blotchy.
Did I stop? Unfortunately, no. Don't cry about it. You've been told not to do that many times.
What is wrong with me? I have these high expectations for you that are so unfair. Yes, you are older than your brother, but you are still only five years old.
We arrived at your school as you were still trying to get the sobs under control. I stopped in the drop-off lane and told you to have a good day, and that I love you.
You started to get out of the car, then turned back for a hug. You started to get out again and climbed back in to tell me you didn't want to go to school today and to get another hug.
Yes, I know why you didn't want to go to school. You didn't want to leave me feeling bad about me.
I told you things would be okay and that tomorrow you wouldn't have school. We hugged one more time and you got out of the car. You stood with the door open and blew me a forlorn kiss before you closed the car door.
I watched you walk toward the school with your backpack in front of your face.
It made me cry.
I'm so sorry.
I wish I didn't have the power to make you feel so badly. I wish I could control my words better. I wish you had a better mommy.
The whole drive home I thought about how I would feel if something happened to one of us and that was our last interaction. It didn't make for a proud feeling.
I love you.Mommy
4 p.m
Dear Miss M,
I am happy that our disagreement this morning affected me more than you. When you got in the car with the smile on your face and said "I cheered up at school!" I felt like the sun had returned to my life. Everything was as it should be again.
I love you.
Mommy
7 people like me!:
Our words do have so much power ... Love u's ad encouraging words have power too.
its hard to have every parting be perfect. i have walked around with an empty feeling all day when i part with my older one on similar notes sometimes. but as you said it affects us more than them. they seem to move on and cheer up real fast. thank goodness!
sumedha
You apologized and you told her you loved her. Those are two things that I don't think that kids hear enough. Don't get me wrong, obviously it's best if a parent doesn't need to apologize in the first place. However, I think many times we expect kids to take accountability and apologize for their actions yet we don't do the same. Sounds like you're a great mom!
And now you've made ME cry.
Not a bad mommy. A good mommy. Who's human but who owns up to her mistakes. Who has so much love to give.
You are a great mommy. You're setting a great example -- you admit to your mistakes and when you goof up you apologize. That is huge. If your expectations for her are too high then the ones you have for yourself are completely unrealistic. Give yourself a break and know that you are a fantastic mommy.
I wish I could say I never had days like that. Unfortunately, all mommies do. Thank God our children are resilient and forgiving. You're doing a great job!
Aw. I bet your hug did make things better.
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