Ch..Ch..Ch...Changes

So it's official. It finally happened. (Since tone is difficult to convey in the written word, let me just say that this in not said in glee.) I am now 100 pounds heavier than when I was in high school. How gross is that? Granted, I've been out of high school for more than a decade (speculate all you want on when exactly I graduated but I'm not ready to share that info yet) but I remember very clearly saying things like "look at the size of that lady's butt, if I ever get that big please shoot me." Well, if I was still in touch with any of those people, they'd have to shoot me.

I could make all sorts of excuses for myself, but the truth is, I know how this happened. Part of it is my late-night snacking which is usually much more than just a snack. But there are other factors that I know have not helped me. My major weight gain has been just since K finished nursing last September. I weigh more now than I did at the end of each of my 2 pregnancies (before delivery).

Last September, however, I was not a skinny-minny either. Craig (Hubby) took me to Orlando to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary (sans kids) and I almost didn't fit in the seat. It was a very uncomfortable plane ride as I was seated in the middle seat between 2 strangers. I spent the entire flight trying to keep my fat in my seat so as not to bother my seatmates. Craig and I laughed about it, but I still felt bad.

In my last year of college I knew I was headed toward being a bigger sized girl when one of the guys my roommate was dating said I had a nice ass. Let me just say he was a man of color, and (I'm generalizing here) they tend to enjoy a bit larger booty. And just so you know, I did ask him if that meant it was big. "Yeah girl!" Gee, thanks.

I really think I have reverse-body dysmorphic disorder. I look in the mirror and I don't see a fat chick, usually. Then I see a photo and I'm horrified.

So my only choice now is to do something about it. I'm putting this in writing so that I might feel more accountable for my weight. If I've written it somewhere and other people know that I'm supposed to be losing weight maybe that will make me actually do it.

I know I'll never be the size 2 or 4 or whatever it was in high school, but it would sure be nice to not have to shop in the plus-size section. Not that I go clothes shopping for myself anyway.

This photo is from a trip I took in college to Cancun, Mexico. I've always really liked this photo. Although the bouffant bangs are a bit distracting.

Okay, so enough of my whining about my weight.

Now back to my regularly scheduled blog.