The Viral Post 2020 #1

Fair warning. I have a lot of thoughts that contain swear words lately. If that offends you...click away now!

=================

This pandemic makes me feel like I'm living is some sort of shit dystopian novel. I have nightmares about somehow falling and needles of increasing sizes become embedded in my skin. I pull them out one by one but more appear each time I think I've removed them all. I stay up later and later and wake up later and later. My land of "give a fucks" is pretty much barren.

I work(ed) in an elementary school with students that have emotional and behavior disorders. I miss the kids every day. I miss the hugs. I miss the defiance. I miss it all. I miss my coworkers. I miss laughter. We had to pack up the entire school last week because it's being remodeled. Libraries look very strange with no books on the shelves.

I've been working from home for a while. I'm making Kahoot! quizzes, recording videos, drawing pictures, etc. We have "professional development" modules to watch as well, that are boring as hell. I fell asleep during one about ADHD and now I'm thinking I may have the inattentive type. I still scored 100% on the quiz at the end so that's cool. I'm going to write letters to some of my students because apparently that's the only contact I'm allowed to have while others get to have google meets and phone calls.

My oldest is a senior and of course has looked forward to high school graduation for years. We got her a beautiful prom gown for senior prom that hangs unworn in her closet. Graduation ceremonies were planned then reconsidered. Her graduation party at home will probably be a drive-by affair. The all-night grad party at the school that most of us enjoyed? Not happening. I thought her graduation year would be so cool. 2020! How cool is that? Then covid-19 happened and the world is shit.

I have been called numerous times about my son not checking in for attendance. I kind of want to scream about it. He's on an IEP. He's doing some work. Should be good enough because this whole distance learning thing is bullshit. But yeah. PLEASE keep calling me about fucking attendance on a computer. Not stressful at all.

My Ms. D has been struggling since starting middle school this year. The pandemic is not helping things. I fear my D is following in my footsteps of the self-doubt even though deep down we know we're awesome. Thankfully, she has an awesome school counselor that is working with us to keep her positive and also to mediate the school work load.

M and I have asthma so we're supposedly at a higher risk. We've both been off work for many weeks. I order groceries online and try to support local restaurants. It's made me gain the CO-VID 25 at least. If the virus itself doesn't claim me, obesity and diabetes might. I'm sitting on my ass daily and eating more than I should. Though most days I only eat one meal. But it's a shit meal of too many calories. I chalk it up to helping small local restaurants survive.

I will have more rants to come.