If I'm Only 29 That Means I Birthed Her When I Was 16

Of course, that's not unheard of...having a baby at 16. Thankfully, that is not the case with me. If I had birthed a baby at 16 I'm fairly certain I would have been a much worse parent than I already am. Miss M, I am sure, thinks that I am a terrible mother. I am "mean" and "embarrassing" and "annoying." These things I claim as my right as a mother. On the weekends, my husband likes to tell her he will "poke the grumpy bear" as she is particularly disagreeable in the morning hours. I don't blame her. Mornings are not my forte either.

All three of my kids have a strong sense of self. They recognize when people are jerks and generally steer clear of those kids. This often means that my kids will feel that their dad or I are being jerks and will then stand up to us. This defiance is different at different ages, of course. Ms. D is currently at the stage where she sasses back about everything and "I don't care" is the response to any threats of removal of privileges. K Man generally just shouts at me when he disagrees with what I say. There is a lot of shouting. Then he'll want to get hugs and kisses a few minutes later. Adolescence is a little schizophrenic.

Then there is Miss M. She's 13 going on 21 or something like that. She holes up in her bedroom 90 percent of the time, which is pretty much what I did in middle school. It kind of sucks, because I like having her around, but I get it. I was once 13, 16 or more years ago.

She brought home a high school information packet today. There are a lot more options for electives, etc, than when I was in high school. It was almost overwhelming. The cool thing about it was that she was so interested in almost everything offered. That was also the hard thing. How do you determine what you want to do in life at 13? I think we had a good discussion about the pros and cons of different electives. Then I wanted to curl up in a ball and deny the fact that my first baby is going to high school next year.

Just so you know: I can't possibly be old enough to have a kid in high school.

I'm not sure when I finally got over the amazement that I was a parent, but I remember feeling that I was participating in some form of charades for several years after M was born. I no longer feel like I am not "old enough" to have kids (nice that I can recognize truth after 10 plus years!) but that doesn't mean I don't screw up a lot.

I still want to put my kids in a freezer, yet I am looking forward to who they will become. In the meantime, I am cherishing snuggles from D and K, and poking my grumpy bear Miss M.