Monday, September 5, 2011

I'm Still Thinking of Sticking Her in the Freezer

D starts preschool tomorrow.
It's the homeschool/co-op preschool that I'm doing with 4 other moms and I really am excited for us all, but at the same time I'm feeling a little weepy. Not the same type of ugly cry that I'm sure will happen when D heads to Kindergarten, but still not a pretty thing.
The first day I drove away from Miss M at preschool I blubbered the entire way home. Similar for her brother. I cried even when K Man went on his first field trip with his preschool class. The kids all climbed on the bus to ride away from us parents and I was forced back to my car early to hide the shuddering sobs from my son and the other parents.
K's first day of Kindergarten (M's first day of second grade) caught me off guard as BOTH of them were crying which really sent me over the edge. By the time I picked them up from school that day they were both all smiles.
So tomorrow begins the first steps of sending my youngest child out into the world without me. I've been in denial for months about this. Back in January one of the moms in D's ECFE class mentioned signing the kids up for preschool and I was totally shocked. Then I realized that, yes, it was time to start thinking about this.

But it's just not right! I'm pretty sure D was just born last year. Can't I go back and be weepy about her turning one?
I worry about D, as I worry for different reasons about all of my children. Is there such a person as a mother who doesn't worry about her children? I suppose there are those unfit persons who have somehow been blessed with children that others pine for.
D is very choosy with the people she will deem worthy enough to hear her words. If you have heard her talk, you are lucky indeed. At home, she chatters with abandon. In public, if you ask her to say "hi" she will hide behind my leg.
It's my hope that she will thrive with the small "class" size and begin to connect with the other moms and kids more than she did the last year at ECFE. She liked the kids (most of them) fine. She made connections with the kids. She remembers them (mostly), but she seemed to not care about her teachers. She didn't connect with them like my other two kids bonded to their teachers at ECFE. There will be more teachers this way...though really only one more...but I think the smaller group of kids will be beneficial.
My vision of her preschool days is splendid. I hope the reality matches.

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Jen S. said...

Chris is in preschool now, too. It's weird.On one hand, I miss him like crazy and want to pull him out, but on the other hand, it's lovely to have a couple hours to myself in the mornings! I even have time for blogging again!! I'm sure D will be great and will have a wonderful time. And you're right, all of us worry about our kids!

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