Monday, March 1, 2010

I Thought I'd Miss This By Now

Mama...we should get a car and put some skis on it instead of the wheels it would be really cool but maybe that wouldn't work on the road so we should put some wheels on the front and just skis on the back. Maybe that wouldn't work how would you steer the car? How does the steering work on the car? Yeah! I know if we put the skis on the front and the wheels on the back that will work and we could go on the snow and on the road. I'll show you where the car is that we'll use. It's coming up here. Not yet. Wait, wait, wait. (I already know the "car" he's going to point out. It has been the subject of many big plans on the way to school.) There! That one. That orange one. (It's an old, snow-covered, bright orange SUV. It has no rear wheels. My son's favorite color is orange.) We could get that one and that would work and we could drive it on the road and it the snow! Wouldn't that be cool?

Sometimes I crave a moment of silence. Yet. He is so full of life, so exuberant. I try to not silence him. I try. Sometimes it gets to be too much and I ask him for silence. It usually doesn't work anyway so I'm left feeling like an ass because I've tried to silence this happy, happy, HAPPY and excited little boy.

Mama? Where are we going? Oh! I know! We're going to Boppa and Amma's house I remember this shortcut. This is a shortcut right? I remember this! Wait. I don't remember this part. Boppa and Amma told me that they would be home about (he pauses, looking around and settling on the temp display in the car.) 28 degrees. Yep! They told me they'll be there at 28 degrees... I think. Will they be there?

My son and I are so different, yet the same. We share the same brown eyes; the same dark hair (though mine was light as a child.) He is negative at first, as is his mom. He has his father's gift for gab. I truly believe it is a gift. I wish I had it.

Instead I crave silence. I do. I ask my son to be silent. Perhaps order him to do so. He lasts seconds. For a "quiet" person such as myself it is disconcerting to have a boisterous child. My oldest is a social butterfly, but she is capable of being silent for a few minutes on end.

I feel terrible trying to curb his enthusiasm. Children should be lively and boisterous. I wonder what is wrong with me. This boy is absolutely precious to me.

Yet I still complain and ask him for silence. There is no moment of peace when he is around. Yet that is a wonderful thing. Isn't it?

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A Vapid Blonde said...

Maybe noise cancelling earbuds...just kidding. That is a tough balance to meet!

kelleysbeads said...

I understand the need for silence. I feel safe in it. Working from home, I am removed from adult conversations and soak up the quiet.

When the kids come home from school or on the weekends, we are flooded with chatter and questions. The endless questions that do not wait for an answer before asking the next question. The endless chatter and questions raise my heart rate.

Asking for silence is rarely successful for us and so I practice finding my happy place. And nudging Todd to jump in and answer questions because he is so adept at tuning out the noise. Giving him a good smack to the thigh to catch his attention is therapeutic in itself.

Anonymous said...

We love Mr K---- he is always interesting- and always good for a laugh!! Amma

chelle said...

We have a quiet time everyday. I think honouring silence is a good thing. Then being talkative and louder has relevance.

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