Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Blogging on Blogging

This space came about as a whim, a lark. I was cavalier about it. I would write about my life, things that were on my mind, the funny things my kids said, the things about parenting that make my blood boil. I wanted to tell my story. My story includes my children. They are an inextricable part of my life, especially since I am a stay-at-home-mom. Some would say that I don't have the right to tell my children's stories. Their stories are their own and not mine to tell. And those people may be right.

The line is blurred between my story and theirs.

When it comes to my husband the line is more clearly marked. Even our story together is often off limits for me to write about here. Our story is not mine alone. So I do not write Craig's story here. It is only his to tell.

This blog is my story. It's a story that sometimes features cameo appearances from my parents or my brother or my brother's kids. But their appearances are superficial. You will never know them because of what I've written here. They have their own stories. I know only a small part of their stories anyway.

I realized in the last few years that writing about my in-laws is also generally not helpful and is probably hurtful to my husband so I have limited my writing about them as well. As far as I know, they do not know about this blog but I cannot be sure. I do not want to hurt my husband's family for the sake of comedy or whatever I thought my goal was there. I try. I do not always succeed in curbing my urges. This too is a part of my story.

Even as this blog is my story and I write fairly openly about things in my life and my experiences make no mistake. I do not share it all. There is much more to my life than will ever be shared here.

I chose to share my blog address with some of my family members. For the most part this has been a good thing. My family enjoys reading about my kids and laughs about the misadventures of Heather and Amma. My parents like to see the photos I take of my kids.

Sometimes though, having family read this blog is not a good thing. Feelings get hurt unintentionally. Some may wonder why they are not a part of this story. So I question the wisdom of writing so publicly. It suggests to others that they know me better than perhaps they really do.

This is only a small part of me. And I wonder if even that small part is too much to share.

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Kurt Schroeder said...

Since this is on your blog are you writing it for upset family members or for other people? It is not clear at all if something happened or not.

you can migrate your blog with blog2blog software if you wish to have it elsewhere.

Personally, I choose to just say hurtful things to people directly and leave my blog for 9-11 conspiracy theories and silly stuff.

slouchy said...

i hear you. i am always ambivalent.

kelleysbeads said...

Privacy issues seem to surface from time to time on what is ok for us to share about our lives and those in our lives. I know on my family blog, it is best that I do not share my thoughts on some of the in-laws. But back to your blog...I enjoy what does make the cut & you choose to share. Sorry that issues are coming up for you on this. Conflicts suck.

kelleysbeads said...

Privacy issues seem to surface from time to time on what is ok for us to share about our lives and those in our lives. I know on my family blog, it is best that I do not share my thoughts on some of the in-laws. But back to your blog...I enjoy what does make the cut & you choose to share. Sorry that issues are coming up for you on this. Conflicts suck.

Hip Mom's Guide said...

Ah, Heather, it's a fine line, isn't it? I think part of the trick is to be as open as you can without crossing that itsy bitsy line. If you wouldn't say it to them, the blog probably isn't the place to say it either. Gather some friends, pour some wine, and say it there (but don't write it down.) :) Hang in. I love reading your story.

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

You're right. Sometimes it's hard to know what to share and what not to share. I think most people who know about my blog in real life don't read it. I'm too boring.

If I ever write about family, though, I either try to write about something positive or ask myself first if I wouldn't mind if the person I'm writing about would find out.

chelle said...

My entire family reads my blog (annoying) so it really is only a small fraction of my life. I am honest and candid about the small part.

becky said...

My blog is currently set to cross post a blurb on Facebook. That means a LOT of people read my stories that wouldn't normally hear them. So as of now, I only share a small amount, too. And even then I tend to wonder if it's too much. Sometimes I can't write because of that scrutiny. When I started out, no one in real life knew who I was. I could be as open as I wanted. But over time, acquaintances and coworkers came to know my blog. And people you barely know - those are the ones it seems are most likely to use something against you. I don't have the answer to where the fine line lives, but I feel for what you're saying.

louann said...

I get you Heather. And sometimes I think, "but isn't this exactly why we blog?" Just remember, this is your space and you should feel pretty free to express whatever you want to or not want to.

 
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