I don't know why, but apparently a lot of my kids' friends were born during the summer or early fall. I kid you not, between M and K one or both of them will have attended 6 birthday parties in 4 weeks.
We try to let our kids go to every party they are invited to, if it is at all possible. Perhaps that isn't the best idea in the long run, but I think going to a friend's birthday party when they may have picked M or K as one of only a limited number of guests teaches my kids how to be a good friend and shows them that they should stand by their friends and help their friends whenever possible. Maybe it seems strange to think of attending a birthday party as "helping" a friend, but what would a party be without friends? What if you had a party and no one came?
I do try to buy presents during the year when I see things on sale, but it doesn't always work out that way. If I can, I take M or K with me to the store so they can pick the present for their friends. They almost always want to buy their friend something that costs much more than I am willing to spend so it's hard to take them to do the shopping. When I don't feel like going through that hassle I just buy the present when I am shopping without them and hope that they approve.
There is a mental check list that I go through to determine how much money I will spend on a birthday gift. My criteria may change from one shopping trip to the next, but I always have reasons justifying each present. Though I do think, in most cases, the kids don't really care what presents they get from their friends. They just want to celebrate and play together. Isn't that what birthday parties should really be about anyway?
Do you let your kids go to every party they're invited to? How do you determine how much money is spent on the gift?
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I have a review up over at the Zoo Review. These helped answer my question of what kinds of healthy snacks I could send with the big kids to school!
Monday, August 10, 2009
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We really did have a party where (almost) no one came. The only thing that saved it was that I invited neighbors with four kids at the last minute. My son was pretty disappointed. And at his sister's party the next day, 20+ kids came! oy.
(So yes--they usually go to every party, unless we have a previous commitment.)
My girls go to friends' birthday parties if we don't have a previous commitment. The girls have chosen to attend some of the larger "invite the whole class" parties because they don't know the child well or (sounds terrible) don't like or get along with the child. Now that they're older (almost 12 and 9) the parties are smaller, usually a handful of girls, and it's always within the same group of friends.
I set a budget for each gift - we've done great at Target, especially for the girlie gifts. We can always find several things to fill a gift bag.
Oops - meant to say that the girls have chosen NOT to attend some of the larger parties. My comment didn't make sense otherwise - lol!
PS: I love your hair, too.
Unless there is a conflict on the calendar, we try to allow the boys to attend the parties they are invited to, and, ideally, because money can be tight, we have tried to keep a gift budget at around $10 per gift. It was especially tough on us the week my youngest son came home with invitations to three parties in one weekend - two of which were on the same day, but several hours apart, so he wanted to attend both! The only downfall was that both parties were at Chuck E. Cheese, and that meant one of us had to hang around and tough it out for both of them. We drew straws. I was delighted to not win!
You are very right. I think it's important to go where you're invited if at all possible. I've thrown one party where almost no one showed, and it was truly disappointing. It definitely made me see the value in showing up.
My son is just now old enough to be getting into the birthday party circuit, and when he starts preschool there will likely be more parties. I'd love to hear more from you or other moms how much is appropriate to spend on a gift. My son is too young to really have formed true friendships with these kids, with maybe one exception, so I don't even know where to begin to come up with a budget.
Since we are always the new kids we do not get invited to a lot. But the ones we do we spend around $20. As you said it isn't the presents it is the party and celebrating it with their friends.
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