Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Lonely Night Time

My oldest child, my Miss M, has never enjoyed sleeping in her own room, in her own bed. She is not at the stage yet that she enjoys a good stretch, arms and legs spread wide engulfing as much space as a body can. I don't know if she is scared of the dark, as I was as a child, or if she gets lonely in her room by herself. It does seem somewhat unnatural to separate the child from the mother who carried her or him for 10 months on the inside and often 12 months on the outside.

M was, as D is, what I like to call a barnacle baby. Moments that I was and am allowed to put the baby down are rare. Often snacks are involved to placate the baby while I do things that require 2 hands.

Once M could walk, however, (which was just days after her first birthday) she often pushed me out of the room. The teachers of her ECFE classes commented that her willingness to let me go, even her insistence that I go for a short while, indicated that she was very securely attached to me. She knew I'd be back, and she was going to have fun while I was gone.

I've often thought that nighttime is the time that M uses to regress. She loves to be called Baby Doll, she longs for the cuddles of reading. She loves to have her back rubbed and her hair brushed back. Night time is the time that she gets to be a little girl, free of the responsibilities of being a big girl. She can, once again, be the child that she is without worrying about her siblings.

She almost never falls asleep in her own bed. Even rarer? For her to stay there. She will slink into her father's and my bed sometimes stealthily, sometimes without guile, but I see the relief in her face as she settles in to slumber on the nights when her daddy is gone (which is rare).

When I asked M if she'd like to share a room with D when our home addition and remodel is done, she did not hesitate a moment before saying yes. And for a few years (until M is a teen) I'm sure M will sleep better, and in her own bed, as long as her little sister is in the room with her.

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chelle said...

I think sharing a room is a fabulous idea!!! Becca and Ethan loved it (Ethan more so) .. but Becca was ready to go solo when we moved into our house.

I think siblings can learn a lot and grow closer when they share their space, even if it is only for a while!

You must have so many thoughts on the renovations!!! Hope it is all going real smooth for you!

Adventures In Babywearing said...

This sounds so much like Gray. I wore him the most and during the day he's that way but at night he needs me again. I hadn't heard this theory before but it makes SO much sense.

Steph

mayberry said...

I remember so vividly the first night my first baby slept in her own room. It felt so wrong! The entire family (mom, dad, dog) was in one room and this tiny baby was all alone in a separate room. I hated it.

(Now she sleeps well by herself but her little brother still ends up in our bed most mornings.)

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

A girl who likes to be called Baby Doll who wants to share a room with her baby sister. What a sweetie.

Jules said...

Drew is the same way. He loves sharing a room with his little brother, even though Owen drives him nuts most nights - Drew wouldn't have it any other way.

Jasmine said...

Oh man! I wished my son was like that. When he was born he was all about his own space. I tried to,even, get him to sleep to me- no success- he usually gets frustrated. I did wear him though... which fed my need for closeness! Motherhood is a crazy ride!

Madeline said...

I think that's sweet! Sounds like me when I was a kiddo. You might get her a dog once she outgrows Miss D. My dog was probably the only reason I ever started sleeping "alone" in my own room. He was small and would curl up by my feet. Sigh. Hmmm...I might have to get another dog once Levi decides he's outgrown sleeping with me.

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said...

I love the term Barnacle Baby.

It is hereafter an active part of my vocabulary because it is the PERFECT description for so many babies =)

louann said...

That'll be such a sweet experience.I'm sure they will both have a lot of fond memories to tuck in their hearts as they get older.

Guinevere Meadow said...

I still love to have my back rubbed and my hair stroked!

 
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