Oh the joys of taking the cat to the vet. If you have never done so, you are indeed a fortunate person.
On this trip, it took me approximately 15 minutes to even find the cat, which has to be the all-time slowest cat-finding expedition, especially considering the size of our house. I looked in all the usual spots--or so I thought--no Chat. So I get the treat jar and shake it at random points throughout the house.
Bottom of living room stairs. **shake shake shake** Chat! Treat!?!
Top of kitchen stairs. **shake shake shake** Chat! Treat??! Even I am not convinced I'd get up from a nap for a treat at this point.
**shake shake** **rattle rattle** Chat?
I realize we made the mistake of getting the cat carrier out of storage just the night before instead of a few days in advance. We have to set the cage out days before so that the cat can start to think that maybe, just maybe, we will forget to take her to the vet.
Finally, as I watch the time ticking closer to when she's supposed to be having a thermometer shoved up her butt,* I desperately open another can of cat food even though she woke me up at 5 a.m. for her breakfast. Within seconds she appears in the doorway of the basement. Of course she was in there, it was the one room I didn't look in because I couldn't imagine any comfortable place in there she could possibly have been lounging. Whatever Cat. She tries to escape as I approach her, but even in my old age I am faster than her. I shove her butt into the cage with surprising ease, grab the baby and away we go.
**Meow meow meow meow**
Chat feels the need to express her misery.
*Meow meow*
**
*meow*
Wow, a small pause in the whining! I enjoyed those blissful 3 seconds.
Dear cat, You are just riding in the car. You're in a cage. No one is hurting you. I can assure you that this whole trip will be more uncomfortable for me than for you. Enough with the whining. Cordially, Me
Did I mention that it is raining? No? Of course it is raining and not the lovely sprinkling that feels so nice on a hot day, not the intermittent drizzle, no, it's a steady downpour.
**shakes fist** Who scheduled this appointment for today anyway? Why is everyone looking at me?
So I'm driving along listening to Chat complain about the horrors of riding in the car in a cozy little cat carrier and I start to compose a blog post (quite possibly this blog post) in my head because that's what I do. When life hands me lemons, I write a blog post about it in my head because I'm nothing if not considerate enough to share my pain with others.
Then I start to realize that the Baby is kind of quiet so, oh joy, she has probably fallen asleep and I will have to rouse my sleeping baby to carry her and my whiny cat through the rain into the vet's office. Who scheduled this appointment for nap time? Who? Me? Why? Oh yeah, because I'm STOO-PID.
But as luck would have it, D woke up just as I pulled into the parking lot and the rain let up to a slower downpour so we only got soaked enough to be mildly uncomfortable during the entire visit to the vet. I should note that the whiny cat was completely dry.
I've grown weary of explaining that my cat's name is Chat, pronounced Shaw, which means cat in French, so I just say yes when they ask if I've brought Chat-like the conversation-with me. What kind of weirdo do they think I am for naming my cat after a conversation?
*turns out they take the cat's temp with an ear thermometer now.
Once we get in the exam room, the real fun begins with the laundry list of things wrong with the cat, which, interestingly enough does NOT include the arthritis the vet last year told us that she was developing. It does, however, include impacted anal glands. Say that 5 times fast without cringing. Then the vet said "I'll evacuate those for you before you leave" and I'll admit "thank you" didn't seem quite like the most appropriate response to that statement, but there you have it.
Apparently I was wrong about this visit being harder on me this time.
On the way home with my baby in the back seat and my cat with the newly-cleared anus on the seat beside me I pondered the estimate for $700 of workups and procedures for my 13-year-old cat. Cat's don't live that much longer than 13 do they? I mean I love my cat but I don't have $700 to spend on a cat that is going to die in a year anyway. Plus we have human medical bills to pay at this point. I know, I'm a terrible pet owner, but there you have it. So I don't know what to do about the cat now.
But hey, at least the butt probe was free!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
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we had a cat that lived to the ripe old age of 18. His last few years were not pretty...
Poor Chat---- Next year won't come near that cage!! Amma
Poor Chat. I don't even want to think about taking Cullen to the vet in his carrier. He does not like that thing.
You made it through though!
I'm sad that I didn't make the first comment. :( Damn you sleep!!
We are animal lovers around here, and have forked out some cash for our beloved pets, but when they get that old and that expensive we let go and let nature take it's course. Don't feel bad if you decide not to fork over a fortune.
Seven hundred?? With two zeros? Oh my. I would have a hard time spending that, too.
Yeah, $700. That's more than we have to pay for our human children's visits most of the time!
ouch! It is so hard when pets get older and cost beyond what can be considered reasonable!
Seven hundred bucks is a lot of groceries...
Thank goodness for free procedures, though. Actually, anything involving the words 'anal' and 'glands,' and for that matter, 'impacted,' should forever and always be free, regardless of species!
Yeouch!
Lucky for me - one of my close friends is a cat vet. She comes over and checks my cats out. FOR FREE!
You need to make friends with a vet!
Totally made me laugh about naming your cat after a conversation...I understood what Chat is...OUI OUI, and Miss Kitty lived until about 20-22 So there you have it.
That's a big number for an old cat. Ugh. That's a tough decision. Good luck to you and to Chat in making the choice that works best for everybody.
Also, why do cats do that in carriers? Mine too. It drives me up the wall.
And that right there is why I can't own a pet beyond a fish right now. Even then, the fish died. Because, you know, taking them out of the tank to play with them on the bed seemed like a good idea at the time.
OMG, this post was so effin! funny! Seriously. May be your best. Maybe just because I can totally relate. I have a cranky, bitchy, old 14 year old cat that deserves nothing but the needle but we put up with her anyway, because well, we're humane, right? I can't even imagine having to drag a baby and a car carrier at the same time. Woman, you are my hero.
Cripes I don't know if I should be totally ashamed or totally ashamed. Although we just got a bill for more than the $700 for our human children so if that puts things into perspective...
I do love that stupid cat. I so don't know what to do with her now. I guess I am an a$$.
This just cracks me right the heck up! One of our cats had to go in recently because she chewed the end of her tail raw, which none of our cats has ever done. The cat carrier stays outside until we scoop up the cat and lower her into it (rather than stuff her in horizontally). Vet bills are expensive, and ours always seem to want to do test upon test. I think our cats get better healthcare than we do!
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