Yes, I will

Our days are filled with the mundane; the ordinary. This summer we didn’t do very many of the special activities that the “fun box” had us doing last year. The arrival of D took the little extra energy that is required to plan things like that. In truth, I should have still gotten the box out. We should have filled the box with activities that kept us closer to home but were fun nonetheless. Instead, the kids played outside in our yard by themselves, while D and I holed up inside, nursing and getting to know one another.

The next thing I know, D is four months old and M has been in first grade for two months. K has been going to preschool 3 afternoons a week. The days roll by. It seems like it was just Monday when Friday rolls around. It seems I’m always in the car, driving one child or the other to school or going to pick them up. I’m putting D in the car seat and taking her out several times a day. Another week slips through our grasp.

You’re gonna miss this.

There is a late summer warm spell; an unexpected gift in Minnesota. We go to parks after school, trying to soak up the last rays of summer before they slip away into the crispness of fall. We can’t stay long. There is homework and supper and baths and bedtime before we have to get up and do it all again. M and K run and climb and grab playground mulch to throw in the air; still living in the moment without worry of what tomorrow may bring.

We get home and even though I thought the trip to the playground would tire them out, M and K are fighting. They both want the red square. Neither wants to take a bath first. Perhaps it is because they are tired they are fighting. I try to separate them and they are upset about being separated.

You’re gonna want this back.

I gather clothes for the kids on a Saturday morning. It’s a task I usually have done well before the morning the articles are needed, but I’ve been lazy. M and K dress themselves. I notice that K can zip and button his own clothes and I wonder when that happened. M’s t-shirt is tight on her. It seems like it was big on her just last week. We check her height on her growth chart and see that she has grown nearly an inch since her birthday at the end of July. She is now 4 foot 2 at 6 years old.

You’re gonna wish these days…

I take the girls out to eat lunch with my relatives. We’re celebrating my Aunt’s birthday. M sits next to my Aunt and chats amiably. I can’t hear what she’s saying, but she looks like such a kid and not my baby anymore. After lunch, she asks to go shopping with my Aunt and Cousin. I drive home with only one girl in my car.

At home, Craig and I tease K. I don’t think M is coming back. You can have her room now. After a moment I see K is crying. I miss M. She was nice to me! he cries. I feel my heart break for him for this joke that is not a joke to him.

…hadn’t gone by so fast.

I realize the kids in the portraits hanging on my wall haven’t been around here in more than a year. We venture outside to take new portraits. My camera sees my children, not as my babies, but as the unique people they are. They have grown and look so much older through the camera’s eye.

They both pose and mug. Giggles escape me as I am treated to a display of each child’s personality. My laugh makes them giggle too. It is contagious.

These are some good times so take a good look around…

All of my kids are tired. There is whining and crying and fussing. Small slights provoke big reactions. Tussles erupt over seating. Minds change from moment to moment. It is impossible to please everyone.

…you may not know it now…

The calm settles in as exhaustion brings motion to a halt. There are cuddles, hair is stroked, and limbs intertwine. There are fluttery kisses and carefree embraces. Professions of love float feather-soft on the promise of tomorrow.

…but you’re gonna miss this.