The Viral Post 2020 #1

Fair warning. I have a lot of thoughts that contain swear words lately. If that offends you...click away now!

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This pandemic makes me feel like I'm living is some sort of shit dystopian novel. I have nightmares about somehow falling and needles of increasing sizes become embedded in my skin. I pull them out one by one but more appear each time I think I've removed them all. I stay up later and later and wake up later and later. My land of "give a fucks" is pretty much barren.

I work(ed) in an elementary school with students that have emotional and behavior disorders. I miss the kids every day. I miss the hugs. I miss the defiance. I miss it all. I miss my coworkers. I miss laughter. We had to pack up the entire school last week because it's being remodeled. Libraries look very strange with no books on the shelves.

I've been working from home for a while. I'm making Kahoot! quizzes, recording videos, drawing pictures, etc. We have "professional development" modules to watch as well, that are boring as hell. I fell asleep during one about ADHD and now I'm thinking I may have the inattentive type. I still scored 100% on the quiz at the end so that's cool. I'm going to write letters to some of my students because apparently that's the only contact I'm allowed to have while others get to have google meets and phone calls.

My oldest is a senior and of course has looked forward to high school graduation for years. We got her a beautiful prom gown for senior prom that hangs unworn in her closet. Graduation ceremonies were planned then reconsidered. Her graduation party at home will probably be a drive-by affair. The all-night grad party at the school that most of us enjoyed? Not happening. I thought her graduation year would be so cool. 2020! How cool is that? Then covid-19 happened and the world is shit.

I have been called numerous times about my son not checking in for attendance. I kind of want to scream about it. He's on an IEP. He's doing some work. Should be good enough because this whole distance learning thing is bullshit. But yeah. PLEASE keep calling me about fucking attendance on a computer. Not stressful at all.

My Ms. D has been struggling since starting middle school this year. The pandemic is not helping things. I fear my D is following in my footsteps of the self-doubt even though deep down we know we're awesome. Thankfully, she has an awesome school counselor that is working with us to keep her positive and also to mediate the school work load.

M and I have asthma so we're supposedly at a higher risk. We've both been off work for many weeks. I order groceries online and try to support local restaurants. It's made me gain the CO-VID 25 at least. If the virus itself doesn't claim me, obesity and diabetes might. I'm sitting on my ass daily and eating more than I should. Though most days I only eat one meal. But it's a shit meal of too many calories. I chalk it up to helping small local restaurants survive.

I will have more rants to come.

My Boy is Fifteen Now

The boy started his first year of high school back in September. He's grown several inches in the last couple of years and is now almost as tall as I am.

I wouldn't call him Destructo-Boy anymore as he is more of a fixer now. He can do things with computers that I don't understand. He has taught himself how to code and he can figure out how to recover information from hard drives that were thought lost. That's just the stuff I know!

He likes to make jokes and drive his sisters crazy with teasing. He makes me laugh and also sometimes drives me nuts. He gives great hugs and is probably the only one of my three kids that regularly tells me he loves me.

He finished his driver's training classroom lessons last week and will attempt to pass his permit test tomorrow. It will be challenging for a kid who has trouble with memory, but I know he will try his best and will have done everything he can to prepare.

My Dad's shirt kind of fits him now!

His efforts to overcome obstacles and to be a kind person make me so proud to be his mom.

Happy birthday dude. I love you.

Akela

We met our dog on a Cub Scout camp out. Another family brought her mom and siblings to the sleepover. They had met their dog while on vacation. She was a stray who came by their cabin in the Virgin Islands. They fell in love and brought her home to the continental United States. Then they realized she was pregnant. They didn't know because she looked older and had grey hairs.

Akela and her mama, Coco.

She had 8 pups when she had her babies in Minnesota. Four of her babies survived. All four of her babies found forever homes at that Cub Scout camp out. We named our pup Akela after the Cub Scout leader of the pack.

I remember my husband going to the store to pick up essential dog supplies while I drove home with Miss M and our new (as yet) unnamed puppy. At home our kids were immediately smitten with the little girl. None of them wanted to go to bed, even though the poor pup was exhausted and wanted to sleep. All the kids were ready to help with everything that had to do with the dog. As so many parents find out, the promises to take care of the pet were empty but we still have her hanging around.

Our dog is a giant pain in the ass most of the time. She barks at everything. She eats ear plugs then eats them again after she poops them out. She'll nip at strangers or down right bite them if she thinks they're messing with her kids. She's our protector for sure. I tried to get her better socialized, but those plans always fell through. She's overprotective which is both good and bad. Probably mostly bad. She is chilling out a little as the years go on though. Now she spends much of the day napping on the couch or on Miss M's bed.

She gets scared of storms and her safe place is Miss M's room.

It's hard to tell who is her favorite hooman in our family though. It might be a straight up tie between M and my husband. She will get super excited when they walk through the door. She will bypass me in a hurry to get to one of them. Although if I have food she will watch me like a hawk. "I see you have food. I also like food. Look at me. See how cute I am. Hungry. Yum yum."

Did I mention I also like pizza?

Although recently Akela has started to request my attention more often. She will sit and whine by my chair until I greet her and/or rub her paws. As a puppy she would fall asleep on the arm of my chair and I would paint her nails. Those days have long passed. She outgrew the arm of the chair long ago.

Not sure if you heard, but I also like pizza.

Akela loves our kids fiercely, almost to her detriment. We've had to take major steps to keep guests safe when they are at our house (like I said I tried to get her trained better, but promises from friends fell through.) Thankfully, she has been fine with my mom who is by far our most frequent visitor. Akela will not settle down until my mom has pet her and acknowledged her properly, however.

When M's boyfriend visited us from PA to take her to prom, we opted to board Akela, just to avoid any problems. I wish we could be more sure that she would be nice to "outsiders" but we still don't know. If we are away from the house, she is perfectly behaved. Even the boarders we have used have called her a sweetheart and said she is completely fine with other dogs.

So our dog is a major pain in the ass, but she's our pain in the ass.

And Now She is Seventeen

Miss M is an amazing young lady who has a kind heart and takes no shit from anybody. I say this all the time...I am a lucky mom to have such a beautiful and intelligent daughter.

And now she's having another birthday. She's 17. SEVENTEEN! It's so true that the years fly by. I remember thinking that my kids were going to be little forever and I'd never have a chance to use the bathroom alone and now they're all getting older. And M will be attending college for her last year of high school.

I suppose she wouldn't be a teenager if she didn't test me and get embarrassed by me. I'm sure I disappoint her every day. She is spoiled in many ways and I don't think she realizes it. She pretty much always gets what she wants. She helps out when she really has to help. She loves hanging out with her dad working on our vehicles and our boat. She'll go shopping with her dad any time he asks, but will go with me once a year. Truth be told, she's really always been Daddy's girl.

I call this the "I am humoring you mom" look.

M puts her whole heart into the things and people she loves. She played softball with passion, always trying her best. She does her best in school. She cares about those who care about her. (If you don't at least act like you care about her, she will kick you to the curb quickly.) If she lets you be her friend, you won't find a more loyal one. But you have to prove yourself worthy. She doesn't go for fake people. If you aren't doing right, she won't hang with you.

She's tough on people. She has high expectations. She also sells herself short. Sometimes people are making an effort to be her friend but she doesn't see it.

 

Her dad and I agree that if she chooses to get married someday the man she chooses will have to be amazing and treat her as a queen. He still will probably not be good enough.

This gorgeous young woman is going places. She's already amazing. So look out world! Miss M is 17. One more year and she's making a bigger mark on the world.

I love you M. No matter what. Remember that always.

Happy Birthday Dad

 

It's this guy's birthday today. This last year has been a challenging one with regard to his health, and it continues that way. I hate seeing my parents in pain. 

My dad has always been a hardworking guy. He spent 20 years in the military (9 Navy, 11 Coast Guard). Before that he grew up on a farm. After that he ended up owning and operating his own electronics repair shop (among other jobs). He continues to work at a golf course long after he retired. 

I believe my dad's favorite part of life has been since his grandkids were born. He has enjoyed them so much from the moment each of them were born. I've seen the biggest smiles from him when he is with them. The kids all return the adoration. He's their Boppa. 

I love you Dad! Happy birthday!