Some Answers, More Questions: ADHD or Learning Disability?

The K Man had his first appointment on the road to figure out what is happening in his brain. Anyone who has met him can tell he is friendly, enthusiastic, intelligent and creative. This is the short list of positive things about my son.

We (I and his teachers) suspected ADHD. K Man is movement. Once he had ear tubes as a baby he started crawling and hasn't slowed down since. He talks a lot. A LOT. He can't sit for a meal at home. If there is a toy within foot reach he will fiddle with it until we move it out of reach. Conversely, he can sit for a church service and a funeral service with no issues.

He falls apart if you ask him to practice spelling. If he has math homework he does it with no issues and mostly gets the problems correct the first time. He's still getting help at school in reading and math. The math help at school puzzles me. Though he took a standardized test and scored below grade level in math, reading, vocabulary...etc, etc. When he brings the math worksheets home he does them with no fuss and gets the problems correct most of the time. Spelling and reading homework cause crying jags. Refusals to do homework. Family upset.

Initial diagnosis? He's borderline considered ADHD. I don't like the idea of medication so that is last resort. He may have a learning disability so we're testing for that in a few weeks. My suspicion is that he has a learning disability that causes him to act out. This boy is SO SMART. He's so creative. He has IDEAS. He's happy, friendly but unfocussed.

He's going to be tested for learning disabilities, which I suspect may be the real culprit here. I'm looking at dyslexia with a pointed glare.

It probably seems silly to most parents, the anxiety and stress behind seeking a diagnosis such as ADD or a learning disability, but I assure you it sucks rocks. My boy is my heart. I hate to think there is anything "wrong" with him. (If you think there is something wrong with him I'll arm wrestle you and I'll win.)

I recognize that this diagnosis is far better than something like cancer. Things are relative. We are lucky and not at the same time. Our kids are phenomenal. The appointments for K are because he is struggling with reading, spelling, vocabulary. He consistently transposes letters and numbers. It reeks of dyslexia in my mind. But I'm not a doctor.

The saga continues...

Waiting for Diagnosis

I'm having my son evaluated for ADD. I've been in denial about it for at least a year and suddenly last week it clobbered me with realization. I have mixed feelings about even the evaluation (we have no results as yet) because I worry that if "they" label him with ADD and prescribe medication that we will lose some of the quirky wonderfulness that is the K Man.

Before he's even evaluated by professionals, I'm 98 % sure he'll have some sort of diagnosis. Our regular family doctor assures me that we will be able to choose to NOT give meds on weekends and school breaks if we so choose. So there will be times he will be solely him. I think. If his restlessness and lack of focus didn't cause such strife when we asked him to complete even one page of homework I wouldn't pursue such a diagnosis. The homework and the anguish each page causes is causing a rift in our relationships. K has a meltdown as soon as you mention homework. It takes him an hour and a half to complete one worksheet if left on his own, even with multiple reminders to get to work.

In short, it sucks.

My son is smart. So smart, in fact, that it's this very thing that causes him problems. His brain rarely shuts down. His creativity outshines even mine. He has IDEAS. These ideas are much more important to him than studying spelling or learning to read.

Except he learned to read so that he could create more.

He still insists he doesn't know things that he most probably does know. He gives up rather than trying. He needs to run off energy and doesn't always have time. Even when he can run off energy it is never enough.

Have I mentioned how much I love this kid? I worry that I am doing the wrong thing. I worry that I'm doing the right thing. I worry I will lose this quirky boy that holds so much of my heart.

I worry.