Friday, March 31, 2017

Bedtime Rituals

When each of the kids were babies we had a bedtime routine that consisted of rocking in a comfy chair and a bottle or nursing until they fell asleep. It was completely the "wrong" thing to do but it felt right to us. We also didn't do cry it out. Well, we tried at first with Miss M, but it felt icky and I hated it. By the time D came, the cry it out method never crossed my mind. It's a weird philosophy anyway. Why should we expect a baby who has been in the closest contact with a person as possible to be able to sleep in another room, away from anyone who will care for him or her? This did not last forever with any of them, and it was a great bonding time with each of them.

When they were transferred to the crib after being rocked to sleep they still weren't really alone because I made them "lovies" from cloth diapers with satin blanket edging around them. The lovies were always tucked between me and the baby while nursing/drinking bottle and rocking. So our scents combined on the lovie, that was then transferred to the crib with baby. (All 3 kids still have lovies around even though they don't need them anymore.)

The rocking gradually morphed into laying in the parent bed and reading before bedtime in their own rooms. This happened more consistently with the older two kids, but also occasionally with Ms. D. (Poor third child syndrome...we are not as diligent with the routines...especially when the child is 3 1/2 years younger than the next oldest.)

Today the bedtime routine is very different. M and K have no real routine other than a time they need to be off electronics and another time they need to be in bed to sleep. We have plenty of issues with this regarding times and not wanting to get off electronics.

D has really never been a problem getting to bed. She's always been willing to go when she is supposed to go. It is weird to have a kid so willing to go to bed.

D is almost 9 years old and our bedtime routine has morphed into this:

Me: D, it's bedtime.
Her: Okay Mom. {Comes over to get a hug and kiss. Then goes to brush teeth.}
Her: Tuck me in Mom?
Me: (Responses vary by the day) Can't tuck you in if you're not in bed!
Her: (Goes up to her bed)
.................Sometimes there is some time delay before I get there. Sometimes she messes around for a while in the bathroom. Sometimes I just can't and tell her to just go to bed. (The latter is the least frequent of the options.)
Me: (Goes upstairs to "tuck D in.")

Every night it's the same. She turns on her fan, her "D" light, her pillow pal or whatever it is. I head upstairs. Most nights she is in her bed, waiting for me to "tuck" her in. The routine calls for her folding her legs under her so I can't reach them. My role calls for trying to find her feet. Apparently it's hilarious every evening. I attempt to touch her feet, which are no where near the end of her bed. She laughs and laughs. I say I love you and that is the routine now.

Eventually, she will no longer ask me to tuck her in. I won't realize when it is the last time she asks me, just as I didn't realize with her sister and brother. So we change and grow and find new routines.

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Deborah said...

I love how honest this is, and took me back to the bedtime routines I had with my children. Thank you for putting common occurrences into words with uncommon honesty.

 
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